[Here is = another batch of innocent announcements that just can be taken the wrong = way.]   “Please = welcome Steve, our new elder, who is a caring individual and loves = hurting people.”   “During = the pastor’s illness, Wednesday night healing services will be = discontinued until…

[My= former co-worker and his wife banter on line.  At least HE does. = She tries to ignore him.  But fun to read.  Here is another = installment of their dialog]   Mar= y: "Wayne, why are you wearing your good church slacks to work out = in the garden?"…

When Jesus came to Golgotha, they hanged Him on a = tree,They drove great nails through = hands and feet, and made a Calvary.They crowned Him with a crown of = thorns, red were His wounds and deep,For those were crude and cruel = days, and human flesh was cheap.…

In ancient = Egypt cats were worshipped as gods.  They have not forgotten = this.   Why do dogs = always race to the door when the doorbell rings?  It’s hardly = ever for them.   Does the = animal’s size really matter?  Whales are endangered while the = ant…

[Wa= s it FDR who said, “April 15th, a day that will live in = infamy”? Well, he should have.] “What is the = difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist = takes only your skin.”   &#8= 220;The income tax has made more liars out of…

[Gleaned from = many sources, here are some random ideas from the political wise = guys.]   **It has been = said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those = other forms that have been tried.   **I belong to = no organized political party. I’m…

[Sometimes = there is NO ERROR in the typing or spelling, but the WORDING of the = bulletin information may cause you to raise an eyebrow. Like = these:]   “Last = Sunday, the visiting Evangelist spoke briefly, much to the delight of = the congregation.”   “We = welcome…

[Yes, I got a = smart phone. I now can text. I don’t, of course. I’m an = adult. But I get texts.  Want to see the jokes they suggest for the = Grif.Net?]   "What do = you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around? Dead = Siri-ous"  …

Tom= orrow (Sunday) after our farewell at the church we founded, followed by = ordination of the new pastor, and a huge dinner (we ARE Baptists and = when we meet, a chicken must die), we will load a U-Haul with our = pared-down furniture, 250 boxes, and head to…

[In spite of = popular request, we are adding even MORE errors found in church = bulletins.]   “Diana = and Dan request your presents at their = wedding.”   “Helpers = are needed. Please sign up on the volunteer = sheep.”   “After = the first hymn we will…

[La= st day of slave labor from the grandkids helping move boxes. What a way = to spend Easter Break week. Sweat AND lousy jokes. Tough luck, = kids.]   Why= did the teacher love the whiteboard? She just thought it was = remarkable.   My = teacher told me,…

[Kids worked = hard helping clean the garage. They deserve better.  But more lame = jokes. Tough luck, kids.]   Grandpa’s= favorite word is "drool."  It just rolls off his = tongue.   I = like to spend every day as if it’s my last. Staying in bed and calling…

[Grandkids from = California are here for a couple days helping us clean and pack for our = move. Drove 1100 miles.  They want to play Parcheesi with = Grandma.  They don’t want Grandpa jokes.  Batting = .500  Tough luck, kids.]   Why do fish = live in salt water?…