Thomas T = opines, “If it hurts you more than it hurts him, you may be = holding the taser wrong.”   Jason B = taught, “Since the earth is 70% water and uncarbonated, = technically the earth IS flat.”   Marilyn L = admits, “I stole Santa’s naughty list. …

Met= some fellow senior citizens sitting at the caf=E9 and talking about = their ailments:   &#8= 220;My arms are so weak I can barely HOLD a cup of coffee”, said = one.   &#8= 220;Yes, I know. And my cataracts are so bad I can’t even SEE my =…

DID YOU KNOW . = . . the first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s = gum?   DID YOU KNOW . = . . there is no revenge so complete as = forgiveness?   DID YOU KNOW . = . . you can’t go around saying the…

God rarely = explains “WHY”.   We are = preoccupied with ‘Why’ for a number of reasons. "Why?" is a = ‘me-oriented’ question. It is not the question God is primarily = concerned to answer. He never answered it for Job. =   Table your = "Why?" long enough to…

Bill asks, = “With paper shortages, can I use coffee filters in place of toilet = paper?”Dr Bob replies, “Yes, you may, but it will change = the taste of your coffee.”   Nicki asks, = “What benefits will I see if I replace my morning coffee with = green…

[Fi= nal confessions of adulting. Unless I think of more]   I&#= 8217;m going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors. Absolutely = nothing!   I&#= 8217;m sure they are making adults much younger these days.   I&#= 8217;m in the initial stage of my golden years. SS, CD’s,…

[Fe= w more personal confessions as I age]   I&#= 8217;m wrinkled, saggy, red, and lumpy. And that’s just my left = leg.   I&#= 8217;m sure everything I can’t find is in a secure = place.   I&#= 8217;m awake many hours before my body allows me to get…

I&#= 8217;m the life of the party… even when it lasts until 8 = p.m.   I&#= 8217;m very good at opening childproof caps . . . with a = hammer.   I&#= 8217;m usually interested in going home before I get to where I am = going.   I&#=…

DID YOU KNOW . = . . when you put a bed in a bedroom there is less room in the = bedroom?   DID YOU KNOW . = . . the highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in = Colorado?.   DID YOU KNOW .…

My = good friend Wayne Muri wrote considering Black Friday . . .   Whe= n my mother died, we took the grandkids through her house and told them = to take whatever they wanted. As I recall they took nothing. Financial = advisor Richard Eisenberg explained that nobody wants…

Tod= ay at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent = –        From my purchase, he = took off 10 percent.I asked for the cause of a lesser amountAnd = he answered, “It’s the Seniors Discount.” I = went to McDonald’s for a burger and fries,And there, once = again,…

DID YOU KNOW . = . . that the Snicker’s candy bar was named after a = horse?   DID YOU KNOW . = . . the iconic pose of Rose and Jack on the bow of the Titanic was not a = Hollywood invention? At the 1931 Titanic Memorial…

[Saved the = worst for last. Final first-of-the-month puns and word plays . . . for = 2021] As the New Year’s Eve deadline approached, Veteran = punter Harold Lang was still a contract hold-out in Green = Bay.  Fortunately, they finally got Old Lang signed.   =   A man…