Grif.Net

10/25/24 Grif.Net – Applying Football Terms to Church

10/25/24 Grif.Net – Applying Football Terms to Church

[Every 25 years on the Grif Net we try to update our definit=
ions on Football as applied to the Church. Here is the revision from our Fa=
ll 1999 version.]

 

Halftime – The period between Sunday School and Morning =
worship when many choose to leave.

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nbsp;

Benchwarmer – Those who do not sing, pra=
y, work, or apparently do anything but sit in their own pew.

 

Backfield-in-M=
otion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the s=
ervice.

 

Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the final=
hymn.

 

Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship. =

 

Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be give=
n to the Lord’s work.

=

Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the se=
rmon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings and=
put on your coat.

 

Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls =
back on last week’s illustrations.

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nbsp;

Sudden Death – What happens to the atten=
tion span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".

 

Tr=
ap – You’re called on to pray and are asleep. 

 

End Run – Getting out =
of church quickly, without speaking to any guests/fellow member or shaking =
the preacher’s hand.

 

Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely n=
othing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option – The decisio=
n of 50% of the congregation not to return for any other service at the chu=
rch this week.

Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer=
=2E 

 

~~

Dr Bob Griffin

[email protected]=
www.grif.net

"Jesus Know=
s Me, This I Love!"

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