[I always =
enjoy flight attendants and pilots who have ‘fun’ with =
announcements.]
“Weather at our destination is =
50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them =
fixed before we arrive.”
After a bumpy =
landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo =
bounces us to the terminal.”
“There =
may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of =
this airplane.”
“Your =
seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency =
water landing, please take them with our =
compliments.”
“We are =
pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. =
Unfortunately, none of them were available for this =
flight.”
“For =
those of you wondering about the weather at our destination, Honolulu is =
reporting sunny skies and temperatures of 86 degrees. Unfortunately, our =
destination is Nome Alaska which is reporting 27 degrees below zero and =
blowing snow.”
“No =
smoking is allowed, not even in the toilets. Don’t be naughty in =
our potty. If you do there is a $2,000 fine, and if you had that kind of =
money, you’d be flying United instead of =
Southwest.”
While waiting =
at the gate “Sorry for the delay folks but the machine that breaks =
your luggage is broken. We’ll have you off the plane as soon as we =
get done breaking it by hand.”
After a plane =
taxied for a long time: “If you look to your right that was the =
terminal we left an hour ago. I hope you enjoyed your tour of the =
airport. We should be leaving shortly.”
“We’=
;ll be landing as soon as we get closer to the =
ground.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin =
[email protected] =
www.grif.net =
"Jesus =
Knows Me, This I =
Love!"