This is a =
collection of funny one-liners from the doctor’s notes, =
exactly as typed by medical secretaries:
· =
Patient has =
chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a =
year.
· =
On the second =
day the knee was better and on the third day it =
disappeared.
· =
The patient =
has been depressed since she began seeing me in =
2013.
· =
Patient has =
left her white blood cells at another hospital.
· =
Discharge =
status: Alive, but without my permission.
· =
Patient had =
waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
· =
While in ER, =
Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home.
· =
Skin: somewhat =
pale, but present.
· =
Patient has =
two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. =
· =
She has no =
rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot at bedtime =
last night.
· =
The patient =
was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel =
and crashed.
· =
Mrs. Evans =
slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions =
in early December.
· =
Patient was =
seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen =
and I agree.
· =
The patient =
refused autopsy.
· =
The patient =
has no previous history of suicides.
· =
She is numb =
from her toes down.
· =
She stated =
that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a =
divorce.
· =
Patient was =
found in the bed with a lawn mower.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"