Grif.Net

09/24/11 Weekend Grif.Net – How old is Grandma?

09/24/11 Weekend Grif.Net – How old is Grandma?

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events.
The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at
schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandmother replied, “Well, let me think a minute. I was born before
nation-wide television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox,
contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill

There were no credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens. There were no
ramps to the interstate highway much less ramps to the internet.

Man had not invented pantyhose, room air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes
dryers (they were hung out to dry in the fresh air) and man hadn’t yet
walked on the moon or even shot a satellite into space.

Your Grandfather and I got married first, and then lived together. Every
family had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called every man older
than me, “Sir”. And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every
man with a title, “Sir.”

We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers,
and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good
judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between
right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger
privilege. We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent. Having a
meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Draft
dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started.
Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and
weekends, not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt,
or guys wearing earrings. We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the
President’s speeches on our radios. And I don’t ever remember any kid
blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with ‘Made in Japan ‘ on it, it was junk. The term
‘making out’ referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut,
McDonald’s, and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5 &10-cent stores
where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice-cream cones,
phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you
didn’t want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail
1 letter and 2 postcards.

In my day “grass” was mowed, “coke” was a cold drink, “pot” was something
your mother cooked in and “rock music” was your grandmother’s lullaby.
“Aids” were helpers in the Principal’s office, “chip” meant a piece of wood,
“hardware” was found in a hardware store and “software” wasn’t even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a
husband to have a baby.

No wonder people call us “old and confused” and say there is a generation
gap. How old do you think I am?

Her grandson figured she MUST be at least 100 or maybe 200, and could she
come to school for show-and-tell.

I bet you have this old lady in mind, an ancient blue-haired grandma on
life-support. Not so fast. This woman could be my wife (not yet on social
security).

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”