If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the
aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children”
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for
that. It’s called EVERYBODY.”
“My Mom said she learned how to swim when as a teenager her parents took her
out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t
trying to teach you how to swim.”
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills
than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: “Duh.”
“I think that’s how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said,
‘My oh my, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold
enough. Let’s go west.'”
“If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be
dead.”
“Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.”
“Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have
to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is
the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?”
“Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they
can find Afghanistan.”
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look
that says, ‘My goodness, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”