[This is a =E2=80=9Cvintage=E2=80=9D post from 25 years ago =
(April 2000). From 1986-92 I took 4 fall tours (Labor Day to Thanksgiving) =
to every state plus one a tour of Canadian provinces speaking at 2-day Educ=
ator=E2=80=99s Conventions. Everything below has way more truth than humor.=
)
Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty mee=
tings, in the bathroom, and (at the end of the quarter) have been seen grad=
ing in church.
Real teachers cheer when they hear April 1 does not fall on =
a school day.
Real teachers drive older cars owned by credit unions.
Real t=
eachers clutch a pencil while thinking and make notes in the margins of boo=
ks.
Real teachers can’t walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up=
the line.
Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of =
the chair.
Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards witho=
ut turning their backs on the class.
Real teachers are written up in medi=
cal journals for size and elasticity of kidneys and bladders.
Real teachers=
have been timed gulping down a full lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds. Master=
teachers can eat faster than that.
=
Real teachers can predict exactly which=
parents will show up at Open House.
Real teachers volunteer for hall dut=
y on days faculty meetings are scheduled.
Real teachers never take grades a=
fter Wednesday of the last week of the quarter.
Real teachers know the shor=
test distance and the length of travel time from their classroom to the off=
ice.
Real teachers can "sense" gum.
Real teachers are solely resp=
onsible for the destruction of the rain forest.
Real teachers have their be=
st conferences in the parking lot.
&=
nbsp;
Real teachers have never heard an origin=
al excuse.
Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk at Sam’s Club.=
Real=
teachers will eat anything that is found in the teacher’s lounge.
Real tea=
chers never plan discussions for first period.
Real teachers have the assis=
tant principals’ and counselors’ home phone numbers.
Real teachers know tha=
t secretaries and custodians run the school.
Real teachers know the rules =
don’t really apply to them.
Real teachers hear the heartbeats of crisis; al=
ways have time to listen; know they teach students, not subjects; and they =
are absolutely non-expendable.
 =
;
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net=
"Jesus =
Knows Me, This I Love!"
t.com