Did you ever think someone could show you love through a bologn=
a sandwich?
I didn’t think so either.
Until I found out that my then-boyf=
riend-now-husband (a poor, broke, medical school student at the time) spent=
close to two months eating bologna sandwiches every day, in order to cut d=
own his grocery budget to $10 a week. Just so he could save up enough money=
to buy me an engagement ring.
The truth is this: Marriage will cost you. =
Wh=
en you think of the cost of marriage, what comes to mind?=
According to recent st=
atistics, the average couple today spends $26,444 on a wedding. That’=
s a lot of money, but it’s nothing compared to the REAL cost of marri=
age. Because like it or not, marriage will cost you MORE. It will cost you =
something great. It will cost you a price much larger than the money you sp=
end on a ring or a wedding or a honeymoon.
It will cost you yourself.
I heard a married man on TV say (regarding whether or not =
he was going to stay in his own marriage), “I shouldn’t be with=
someone if I’m not happy…” and it made my stomach turn.
Wha=
t an accurate reflection of the self-centered society we live in, everyone =
believing that their main goal in life is THEIR OWN personal happiness. Wha=
t a small and shallow way to live. If you’re getting married with tha=
t as your main goal, to make yourself happy, you will be disappointed in a =
severe way.
Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s =
not even about you. It’s about LOVE, which is something we cho=
ose to give time and time again. It’s about sacrifice, serving, givin=
g, forgiving, and then doing it all over again.
No wonder we often choose divorce over commitment, because most of the =
time, we’re choosing “personal happiness” over real commi=
tment—over real love.
They say marriage teaches you more about selflessness=
than you ever wanted to know. I have found that phrase to be true in my relati=
onship with my husband. Because at the heart of it, real love is all about =
sacrifice. About the giving of yourself, in ways big and small. That’=
s what marriage will cost you.
 =
;
It’s about offering forgiveness wh=
en you’ve been hurt.
It’s ab=
out giving your time though it’s not always convenient.
It’s about sharing your heart when you’d =
rather hold back.
It’s about clean=
ing the kitchen after a long weekend, even if it’s your least favorit=
e job.
It’s about choosing to respo=
nd with love when you’d rather respond in anger.
It’s about offering a listening ear, when you’d r=
ather tune out or go to bed.
It’s a=
bout putting someone else’s needs and desires before your own.
It’s about giving up that last bite of c=
ake, just so your spouse can enjoy it.
I=
t’s about putting aside your rights, to make space for the rights of =
another.
The list could go on and on, but it always ends with the same formula:
“WE BEFORE ME.”
=
That’s what marriage =
will cost you.
We live in a world that DESPISES the sacrificial side of marria=
ge and tries to explain it away. They teach us to strive for power, control=
and the upper hand in a relationship. They tell us to do what feels right,=
and not to tolerate anything less. They fool us to thinking that love is a=
bout doing what makes us happy. And the second we feel less than happy they=
encourage us to bail…to abandon ship…and to stop investingR=
30;to give up on love.
But they’ve got it all wrong.
Because the more we give, th=
e better we become. Real love is not self-seeking, and it will ALWAYS cost =
you. More, and more, and more. Again, and again, and again.
It will cost your heart, =
your time and your money. It will cost your comfort, your rights and your p=
ride. It will cost you to “lay down your life” for the life of =
another. Because only those who learn to die to themselves are the ones who=
get to experience the resurrection power that comes with it.
[Debra Fileta, R=
20;Choosing Marriage”, May 2018]
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bo=
[email protected] www.grif.net
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"=