Are you in a true “country church”? Read t=
his checklist and see if your church matches the ideal country church. Must=
match at least 15 of 25 to be in the running.
1. The doors are never locke=
d.
2. The Call to Worship is, "Y’a=
ll come on in!"
3. People grumble ab=
out Noah letting coyotes on the Ark.
4. T=
he Preacher says, "I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering&=
quot; and five guys stand up.
=
5. The rest=
room is outside.
6. Opening day of deer=
hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday.
7. A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel dri=
ve truck because "I ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get me out =
of".
8. In the annual stewardship dr=
ive there is at least one pledge of "two calves."
9. Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its p=
astors had to buy any meat or vegetables.
10. When it rains, everybody’s smiling.
=
11. Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship serv=
ice.
12. Official singing group is known =
as "The O.K. Chorale."
13. The =
church directory doesn’t have last names.
14. The pastor wears boots.
15. Four gen=
erations of one family sit together in worship every Sunday.
16. The only time people lock their cars in the parking=
lot is during the summer and then only so their neighbors can’t leave them=
a bag of squash.
17. There is no such t=
hing as a "secret” sin.
=
18. Baptism=
is referred to as "branding.”
19. =
There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
=
20. Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
21. You miss worship one Sunday morning and=
by 2 o’clock that afternoon you have had a dozen phone calls inquiring abo=
ut your health.
22. High notes on the org=
an set dogs in the pick-up trucks in the parking lot to howling.=
23. People wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether =
the two fish were walleye or catfish.
24.=
The cemetery is in such barren ground that people are buried with a sack o=
f fertilizer to help them rise on Judgment Day.
25. The final words, of the benediction are, "Y’all come on bac=
k now, ya hear!"
Remember, it’s not heaven, but you can see heaven fr=
om the church steps.
~~=
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@gr=
if.net ww=
w.grif.net
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"
=