[I always =
enjoy flight attendants and pilots who have ‘fun’ with =
announcements.]
“To operate your seat belt, =
insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like =
every other seat belt; if you don’t know how to operate a seat =
belt you probably shouldn’t be out in public =
unsupervised.”
“The =
signs on the ceiling and the disco lights on the floor will lead you to =
the exits.”
“We =
wouldn’t have shown up for work tonight if we’d anticipated =
a decompression in the cabin pressure.”
“For =
your safety and those you might fall on, please keep your seat belt =
fastened.”
“You =
will find the safety briefing card in your seat pocket. It is beautiful =
and has lots of nice pictures.”
Announced =
during a period of turbulence: “No need to be alarmed folks, =
that’s just the sound of your luggage being ejected from the =
aircraft.”
“In the =
unlikely event of a water landing, just think of the incredible story =
you’ll be able to tell your =
grandchildren.”
“If you =
are traveling with someone who needs assistance, put your own mask on =
first then assist the other passenger – unless it is my =
ex-boyfriend, and then don’t =
bother.”
“I’=
ve just been informed that my mother-in-law has just passed security and =
will be shortly boarding this flight using one of my crew passes. If you =
all sit down fast, we should be able to get out of here before she =
arrives.”
“Prior =
to takeoff the flight attendants will be walking up and down the aisle =
to make sure all of you have matching =
socks.”
“Please =
refrain from smoking until you reach a designated smoking area, which, =
for California, is Las Vegas.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin =
[email protected] =
www.grif.net =
"Jesus =
Knows Me, This I =
Love!"