[I always =
enjoy flight attendants and pilots who have ‘fun’ with =
announcements.]
“Hello and welcome to Alaska =
flight 438 to San Francisco. If you’re going to San Francisco, =
you’re in the right place. If you’re not going to San =
Francisco, you’re about to have a long =
evening.”
After a bumpy =
landing: “That was a rough one. Since you all survived, we expect =
you to keep all those promises you just =
made.”
“Hi, =
I’m Captain Amanda Smith. Yes, I’m a female pilot and as a =
benefit, if we get lost on the way I won’t be afraid to stop and =
ask for directions.”
“This =
aircraft is equipped to land on =
water….once.”
“Please =
return your seats to their upright and most uncomfortable =
position.”
“Ladies =
and Gentlemen welcome aboard this Southwest flight to Denver. We will be =
taking off just as soon I get through page 10 of this flight =
manual.”
From a =
passenger, after a series of noises and shuddering bumps during arrival: =
“Did we land or were we shot down?”
“Please =
be careful when opening the overhead bins because shift =
happens.”
“Sorry =
about the bumpy landing. It’s not the captain’s fault. =
It’s not the co-pilot’s fault. It’s the =
Asphalt.”
“In the =
seat pocket in front of you is a pamphlet about the safety features of =
this plane. I usually use it as a fan when I’m having my own =
personal summer. It makes a very good =
fan.”
“Thanks =
for flying with us today. We hope you enjoyed giving us your business as =
much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin =
[email protected] =
www.grif.net =
"Jesus =
Knows Me, This I Love!"