[I know. A day early. But March 1-14 grif.net humor will celebrate aging, culminating with the 65th birthday on March 14 if I live that long. LOTS of jokes about getting old!!] I read about car vandalism in the downtown 4-story parking garage. This just seemed wrong on so many…
02/27/13 Grif.Net – Visiting a Babdiss Church
[A friend in Arkansas sent these observations] You might be visiting a Babdiss Church if . . . . the Call to Worship is “Y’all come on in!” . . people grumble about why Noah let them varmints on the Ark. (Some substitute “Yankees” for “varmints”) . . the Preacher…
02/26/13 Grif.Net – Give It Up for Lent
[Some funny, some not. But all real quotations.] “Next year at Lent I’m going to give up coming up with ideas for what my wife should give up for Lent.” (unnamed friend of mine) “For Lent, I’m giving up making jokes about what I’m giving up for Lent.” (George Burns)…
02/25/13 Grif.Net – The Art of Error
THE ZEN OF COMPUTERS In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third. Haiku is…
02/23/13 Weekend Grif.Net – Law of the Garbage Truck
[CC in Houston forwarded these thoughts. No clue of origin.] One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver…
02/22/13 Grif.Net – Old but still Funny
[Virginia contributed these jokes that her mother who is nearly 100 thought were some of these funniest in her memory. I agree with her sense of humor.] “I’m a light eater. The minute it gets light, I start to eat.” ~~ “Why is 5:00 am like the tail of a…
02/21/13 Grif.Net – Cleaning Mirrors
We should learn from the Beaverton (OR) School District: A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints. Before…
02/20/13 Grif.Net – Really Tough Day
[Mother-in-law told this story 40+ years ago. Still now, when asked how things are going, some days the final lines of this story are fresh in my mind.] John went out golfing one fine day with his best friend George. On the second tee George hit a beautiful 4-iron shot…
02/19/13 Grif.Net – Reading Skills
[Key: Read each capitalized letter as the letter itself, not part of a word] M R ducks M R knot O S A R C M wangs L I B, M R ducks M R snakes M R knot O S A R C M B D I’s L I…
02/18/13 Grif.Net – More Church Signs
In the Dark? Follow the Son. Don’t Let Worry Kill You – Let the Church Help Want a New Look for 2013? Come, Have your Faith Lifted Running Low on Faith? Stop in for a Fill-up. Fight Truth Decay – Read Your Bible Trouble Sleeping? Come hear Pastor Bob’s Sermon…
02/16/13 Weekend Grif.Net – 6 Seconds
[Forwarded to the Grif.Net by a friend who left his legs in Vietnam, who knows all about the character of our military. I am abridging the story in my sermon tomorrow – as Jesus gives us the order to “abide” in Him, to stand and never waver.] On Nov 13,…
02/16/13 Weekend Grif.Net – 6 Seconds
[Forwarded to the Grif.Net by a friend who left his legs in Vietnam, who knows all about the character of our military. I am abridging the story in my sermon tomorrow – as Jesus gives us the order to “abide” in Him, to stand and never waver.] On Nov 13,…
02/15/13 Grif.Net – Composing Some Humor
C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, but we don’t serve minors.” So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment…