[Last one about my home state – I was born and raised in Minneapolis so have
the right to poke fun at all those who have not been fortunate enough or
intelligent enough to move away yet]
60 above zero:
>Floridians turn on the heat.
>People in Mankato plant gardens.
50 above zero:
>Californians shiver uncontrollably.
>People in Duluth sunbathe.
40 above zero:
>Italian & English cars won’t start.
>People in St. Cloud drive Ford trucks with the windows down.
32 above zero:
>Distilled water freezes.
>The water in Bemidji gets thicker.
20 above zero:
>Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
>People in Grand Rapids might throw on a flannel shirt.
10 above zero:
>New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
>People in Shakopee have the last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero:
>People in Miami all die.
>People in St Paul close the windows.
10 below zero:
>Californians fly away to Mexico
>People in Rochester get out their winter coats.
20 below zero:
> Mt. St. Helen’s freezes.
>The Girl Scouts in Minneapolis are selling cookies door to door.
30 below zero:
>Hollywood disintegrates.
>People in Hibbing let the dogs sleep indoors.
50 below zero:
>Washington DC runs out of hot air.
>All Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late
100 below zero:
>Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
>People in International Falls pull down their earflaps.
460 below zero:
>ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
>People all across Minnesota start saying, “Cold ’nuff fer ya?”
500 below zero:
>Hell freezes over.
>The Vikings win the Super Bowl
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”