[Some old, some new but time to recycle the smiles. Where did the “chicken
cross the road” originate? The first known appearance in print occurred in
1847 in ‘The Knickerbocker’, a New York monthly magazine: “There are ‘quips
and quillets’ which seem actual conundrums, but yet are none. Of such is
this: ‘Why does a chicken cross the street?’ Are you ‘out of town?’ Do you
‘give it up?’ Well, then: ‘Because it wants to get on the other side!'”]
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change!
The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a
maverick!
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance
it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.
DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JESS JACKSON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that
he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help
him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems
before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give
this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not
live his life like the rest of the chickens.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU: To live deliberately, and suck all the marrow out of
life.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,
in peace.
CHARLES DARWIN: It was the logical next step after coming down from the
trees.
EMILY DICKINSON: Because it could not stop for death.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2011, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2011. This new
platform is much more stable and will never re boot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”