[Dave, a friend with an addiction, shared these rules]
A favorite tradition of the Christmas season is Christmas cookies. There are
some that each family just has to make each year, or it wouldn’t be
Christmas. There are cookies that we make only at this time of year because
of their strong tie in our minds and hearts to Christmas time. And every
family’s list is different. Today I’m posting a list of rules to make you
feel better about your Christmas cookie consumption.
Christmas Cookie Rules
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories
because everyone knows that the first one is the test cookie and thus
calorie free.
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no
calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
3. If a friend comes over while you’re making your Christmas cookies and
needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend’s
first cookie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to
let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes
your cookie calorie free.
4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet
and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density
of the caloric mass.
5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will
be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a
knife without cutting your tongue.
6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three
and green ones have five – one calorie for each letter. So make more red
ones!
7. Cookies eaten while watching Miracle on 34th Street have no calories
because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s
personal fuel.
8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of
breaking causes caloric leakage.
9. Any cookies consumed from someone else’s plate have no calories since the
calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their
plate. We all know how calories like to cling!
10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because
cookies used for medicinal purposes never have calories. It’s a rule!
So go enjoy those Christmas Cookies – we get them only at this time of year!
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”