[Adapted from a note going around the ‘net]
No nursing home for me. I am checking into the Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching nearly $200.00,
there is a better way when I get old & feeble.
I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined
long-term stay discount and senior discount, it is $49.99 per night. That
leaves $150 a day for breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I
want, or room service and laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus,
they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer/dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day will
have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There is a city bus stop out
front, and in Casper when you reach sixty, the cost is just 50 cents to
anywhere in town. To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the
nice restaurants there. While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere.
Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your
reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move
from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn
there too and with sister hotels, 3,600 properties and 537,000 guest rooms
in nearly 100 countries and territories around the world!
T.V. broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No
problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn
has a night security person and daily room service. 24-hour cable, free
newspaper, breakfast buffet ,and even wi-fi is free. These would take a LOT
out of a senior’s budget!
No lawn care. No shoveling snow. No home-owners insurance. The maid checks
to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an
ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and
Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find
you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. I can see my
grandkids THRILLED about a visit (and using the pool/game room). What more
can you ask for?
So, I’m turning 60 in March and think I’ll face it with a grin. Just forward
all my email to: me @ Holiday.Inn
~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given