[Repeat from January 2000 Grif Net Blog by =
request]
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL =
DONE
"If you’re going to kill =
each other, do it outside. I just finished =
cleaning!"
My =
mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the =
carpet."
My =
mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
"If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to =
knock you into the middle of next week!"
My =
mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that’s =
why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case =
you’re in an accident."
My =
mother taught me IRONY
"Keep =
crying and I’ll give you something to cry about."
My =
mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your =
supper!"
My =
mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your =
neck!"
My =
mother taught me about STAMINA
"You’ll sit there ’til all that spinach is =
finished."
My =
mother taught me about WEATHER
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your =
room."
My =
mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming =
toward you; would you listen then?"
My =
mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a =
million times – Don’t exaggerate!!!"
My =
mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take =
you out."
My =
mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your =
father!"
My =
mother taught me about ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children =
in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you =
do!"
THANKS, MOM!
~~
Dr Bob Griffin =
[email protected] www.grif.net =
"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"