Grif.Net

01/17/20 Grif.Net – What My Mother Taught Me

01/17/20 Grif.Net – What My Mother Taught Me

[Repeat from January 2000 Grif Net Blog by =
request]

 

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL =
DONE

"If you’re going to kill =
each other, do it outside.  I just finished =
cleaning!"

 

My =
mother taught me RELIGION

"You better pray that will come out of the =
carpet."

 

My =
mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL

"If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to =
knock you into the middle of next week!"

 

My =
mother taught me LOGIC:

"Because I said so, that’s =
why."

 

My mother taught me FORESIGHT

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case =
you’re in an accident."

 

My =
mother taught me IRONY

"Keep =
crying and I’ll give you something to cry about."

 

My =
mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS

"Shut your mouth and eat your =
supper!"

 

My =
mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM

"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your =
neck!"

 

My =
mother taught me about STAMINA

"You’ll sit there ’til all that spinach is =
finished."

 

My =
mother taught me about WEATHER

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your =
room."

 

My =
mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming =
toward you; would you listen then?"

 

My =
mother taught me about HYPOCRISY

"If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a =
million times – Don’t exaggerate!!!"

 

My =
mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

"I brought you into this world, and I can take =
you out."

 

My =
mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

"Stop acting like your =
father!"

 

My =
mother taught me about ENVY

"There are millions of less fortunate children =
in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you =
do!"

 

THANKS, MOM!

 

~~

Dr Bob Griffin =

bob@grif.net www.grif.net =

"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"