Grif.Net

04/11/18 Grif.Net – Outreach to New Generations

04/11/18 Grif.Net – Outreach to New Generations

In an effort =
to make churches more attractive to the younger generations, some =
denominations are considering change:

Their church location will =
be listed as a =E2=80=9CSafe Space=E2=80=9D, so Millennials will not be =
afraid to come.

 

Their church =
will have a listing on =E2=80=9CNew Family Search=E2=80=9D. (Must =
explain to some that this is not a dating site.)

 

Their church =
might attract feminists to feel more welcome if we say =
=E2=80=98hymns=E2=80=99 will now be called =
=E2=80=98hyrs=E2=80=99.

 

Their church =
will provide dispensers of Cheerios and crayons on the backs of the pews =
(next to the hyrs books).

 

Their church =
may be equipped with a taser shock feature on the pulpit for any sermon =
lasting longer than 20 minutes.

 

Their church =
will outlaw environmentally-evil paper bibles, books, bulletins, etc, =
and have all available only on iPhone.

 

Their church =
will not use older generation songs; we only sing songs written after =
2014.

 

Their church =
will provide bubble wrap in each pew in case the word =
=E2=80=9Chell=E2=80=9D or =E2=80=9Cdamn=E2=80=9D is accidentally used in =
a sermon and someone has their feelings hurt.

 

Their church =
will change communion from bread and wine to a full brunch with =
made-to-order omelets (hey, that would work for MY generation, too =
😊 =
)

 

~~

Dr Bob Griffin

bob@grif.net www.grif.net

"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"