[Labor =
Day in the USA marks “Fall” and usual whining about warm =
weather ending. Thought we should update the conversion chart for the =
weather as share by a Canadian friend in =
Winnipeg]
70F – Texans turn on =
the heat and unpack the thermal underwear. People in Canada go swimming =
in Hudson Bay.
60F – North Carolinians try to remember where the =
furnace is. People in Canada plant gardens.
50F – Californians =
shiver uncontrollably. People in Canada sunbathe.
40F – Italian =
cars won’t start. People in Canada drive with the windows =
down.
32F – Distilled water freezes. Lake Superior’s water gets =
thicker.
20F – Floridians don coats, long-johns, gloves, and =
woolly hats. People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt.
10F – =
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Canada have =
the last cookout before it gets cold.
0 degrees – People in Miami =
all stop moving. Canadians lick the flagpole.
-20F – Californians =
fly away to Mexico. People in Canada get out their winter =
coats.
-40F – Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Guides of Canada =
are selling cookies door to door.
-60F – Polar bears begin to =
evacuate the Arctic. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter =
Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-80F – Mt. St. =
Helen’s freezes. People in Canada rent some videos.
-100F – Santa =
Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians get frustrated because they =
can’t thaw their tea.
-297F – Microbial life no longer survives =
on dairy products. Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold =
hands.
-460F – ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the =
Kalvin scale). People in Canada start asking, "Cold ’nuff for ya, =
eh?"
-1000F – Hell freezes over. The Americans win a =
gold medal in hockey.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin =
[email protected] www.grif.net =
"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"