[Week of musical puns ends by making fun of the names of some of the dead white men who inhabit the pages on the violin stands. A Grif.Net reader suggested I get a new staff of writers or refrain totally. LOL.] Top mottos: 1. “If it’s not Baroque, don’t fix…
07/30/14 Grif.Net – Another Verse
[In spite of public demand, here are more really lame musical word plays and puns.] ~~ I didn’t want my kids to join the student-led a-cappella group. I’ve never been a fan of unaccompanied minors. ~~ I knew you were treble when you walked in. You’re so easily led that…
07/29/14 Grif.Net – Master Liszt
[More terrible music puns gleaned from writing of high school band and orchestra teachers] I like how you conduct your business but I think I’ve found a snare in your plan. We have to work in concert with other professionals. ~~ I don’t mean to harp on you about it.…
07/28/14 Grif.Net – Notes from a Music Teacher
[Thought we’d end the month on a high note of low humor from the band room in the high school] A parent didn’t want her kids joining school band or orchestra and risk being exposed to so much sax and violins. She thought it could only lead to treble. ~~…
07/26/14 Weekend Grif.Net – Storms Come
[After a week of silly jokes, I need to settle down my mind to the realities of life. Storms come. Winds of adversity blow. Wash your mind out with some of these pithy truths. I did.] “When you are going through difficult times and wonder where God is, remember that…
07/25/14 Grif.Net – Animal Jokes: General
[Okay, last offering of animal humor for the week. Jokes on other subjects would be irrelephant anyway.] Q. What do you call a pig doing karate? A. A pork chop. Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A. A fsh. Q. Why do they ban elephants from…
07/24/14 Grif.Net – Animal Jokes: Mixed Breeds
[No cease fire in sight, Mr Kerry. They keep lobbing in one bad joke after another. Incoming!] Q. Why are elephants wrinkled? A. Have you ever tried to iron one? Q. What do you call bears with no ears? A. B. Q. Where do rich squirrels live? A. In the…
07/23/14 Grif.Net – Animal Jokes: Dogs
Q. Why did the police give a ticket to the dog for giving birth to puppies in the park? A. She was fined for littering. Q. What do they call a mustard-colored dog? A. A Gulden Retriever. Q. What did the hot dog ask the bun? A. Are you pure…
07/22/14 Grif.Net – Animal Jokes: Horses
[According to a Gallop Poll I should try to halter these animal jokes and word plays.] Q. What do you call a horse that lives next door? A. A neigh-bor. Q. What type of horses only go out after dark? A. Nightmares. Q. What did the colt say when it…
07/21/14 Grif.Net – Animals Jokes: Cats
[Another animal with LOTS of really lame laughs and giggles. Here are some floating on the ‘net that should have long-ago sunk to the bottom. Maybe they have.] Q. What happened to the cat who swallowed the ball of wool she played with? A. She had mittens. Q. Why don’t…
07/19/14 Weekend Grif.Net – Astute
A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God’s existence. The professor presented the following logic: “Has anyone in this class heard God?” Nobody spoke. “Has anyone in this class touched God?” Again, nobody said a word. “Has anyone in this class seen God?” For…
07/18/14 Grif.Net – Cattle Call
[I’ve always wanted to make a Grif.Net full of one-liners about cows but I’ve been afraid I’d butcher it.] Cows only make noise when they’re in the mood. I was told that a cow with short legs gives dragon milk. Calves take well to bottle feeding since one nipple is…
07/17/14 Grif.Net – You Can’t Take It with You
A stingy old miser was seriously ill and determined to prove wrong the old saying, “You can’t take it with you.” He told his wife to go down to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. His plan was to secretly stash the bags directly over his…