I am PROUD of being theologically “fundamental”, but sometimes have to poke
fun at my own foibles (and especially at the lunatic fringe that actually
believe some of this stuff and stolen the word “fundamentalist”).
You MAY BE a “fundamentalists” if . . .
You pronounce “sin” with two syllables.
You enjoy talking to people in King James English.
You believe Moses should have shaved.
You pronounce your denomination “Bab-diss”.
You thought Back to the Future was the prequel in the “Left Behind” series.
You know that unscrambling “Santa” is “Satan.”
You exchange any currency that has three 6’s in a row.
You think that bar codes are demonic.
You know the writing on the Statue of Liberty’s tablet was put there by a
Mason in an Illuminati conspiracy.
You say ‘Amen’ more than once an hour.
You pray so long your food gets cold.
You name your children after the apostles.
You became an Amway dealer to evangelize in disguise.
You like being an Amway dealer.
You have a fish on the back of your car, your boat, your bicycle and your
briefcase. (You’d get a fish tattoo, but tattoos are tools of the devil).
Midweek Quiz ANSWSERS (MASCULINE words and FEMININE counterparts
Example: Groom is masculine; answer would be “Bride”
1. Bachelor = Bachelorette
2. King = Queen
3. Drake = Duck
4. Lord = Lady
5. Master = Mistress
6. Gander = Goose
7. Fox = Vixen
8. Boar = Sow
9. Peacock = Peahen
10. Colt = Filly
11. Best Man = Maid of Honor
12. Patriarch = Matriarch
13. Fiancé = Fiancée
14. Monsieur = Madame
15. Hero = Heroine
16. Tsar = Tsarina
17. Blond = Blonde
18. Maharaja = Maharani
19. Lad = Lass
20. Ram = Ewe
21. Duke = Duchess
22. Masseur = Masseuse
23. Rooster = Hen
24. Stallion = Mare
25. Billy Goat = Nanny Goat
Bonus: Marquis = Marchioness
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”