04/16/13 Grif.Net – Minnesota Declares War

04/16/13 Grif.Net – Minnesota Declares War

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
“Hello, President Obama,” a heavily accented Norwegian voice said. “‘Dis
here is Sven, over here at the Muni Liquor Store in Menahga, Minnesota. Ve
don’t like some a yer policies so I am callin’ to tell ya that we are
officially declaring war on ya!”

“Well, Sven,” Barack replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?”

“Right now,” said Sven after a moment’s calculation, “there is myself, my
cousin Knute, my next-door-neighbor Ole, and the whole pool team from the

Barack paused, “I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army
waiting to move on my command.”

“Wow,” said Sven, “I’ll hafta call ya back!”

Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again. “Mr. Obama, da war is still
on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”

“And what equipment would that be, Sven?” Barack asked.

“Vell sir, ve got two combines, a bulldozer, and Sigurd’s farm tractor.”

President Obama sighed. “I must tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks and
14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I’ve increased my army to one and a
half million since we last spoke.”

“All right den, said Sven. “I’ll be getting back at ya.”

Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day. “President Obama, da war is still
on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an’ modified Ole’s
ultra-light vit a couple’a shotguns in da cockpit, and four boys from the
coffee shop haf joined us as vell!”

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. “I must tell you,
Sven, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”

“Two million you say?,” said Sven, “I’ll hafta call you back.”

Sure enough, Sven called again the next day. “President Obama! I am sorry to
have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Barack. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

Vell, sir,” said Sven, “we’ve all sat ourselves down and had a long chat
over a few beers, and come to realize that there’s yust no vay ve can feed
two million prisoners.”

(And yes, I’m from Minnesota, grew up near Sven. Ya shur youbetcha)
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”