Grif.Net

01/26/12 Grif.Net – More Advice on Waist Management

01/26/12 Grif.Net – More Advice on Waist Management

[Gotten lots of advice in January to help diet-conscious Grif.Net readers.
Not all is GOOD advice, but lots of it nonetheless]

East a pint of ice cream each day to reduce your craving for sweets.

The handle on your Lazy-Boy Recliner qualifies as an exercise machine.

Do you call a person who has abandoned their diet a desserter?

Always stand next to a person fatter than you whenever possible.

Eat in private. If people never see you eat, they’ll believe you when you
say you have a thyroid problem.

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Lose weight by eating more! Chewing burns more calories than not chewing.

As a healthy alternative, ask the fast food worker to wrap your triple
cheeseburger, fries and fruit pie in a low-fat tortilla.

Potato chips aren’t rubbery or blubbery like fat. They’re crisp and crunchy
like lettuce, proving they are diet food.

A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in
front of a mirror. Burger King always throws me out before I can eat too
much.

[Some that ‘might’ just work]

An excellent way to lose weight is by skipping … snacks and dessert.

The best way to lose weight is to have your stomach stapled . . to your
upper lip.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”