10/17/11 Grif.Net – Juli’isms

10/17/11 Grif.Net – Juli’isms

[My FaceBook friend Juli gives daily status updates. I don’t sew, but they
keep me in stitches. Here is another batch.]

You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s
not your friend anymore.

Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely, Unicorns

The only time it’s cool to yell “I have diarrhea!” is when you’re playing

Just joined the support group “Hokey Pokey Anonymous” – a place to turn
yourself around.

If I want to terrify my husband I just ask him, “Notice anything different?”

If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one
piece, don’t eat it. It’s probably poisoned.

Whenever I’m introduced to a really old person I mentally add “osaurus” to
their name.

Chris Christie, once again, refused to run. Of course, he was talking to his
personal trainer.

Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”