[On our ship dodging ice flows (no joke) in Tracy Arm Fjord in Alaska last
week brought on a host of “Titanic” jokes. Here are some of the worst.]
What was the last thing anyone said on the Titanic? ‘I know I ordered ice
but this is ridiculous!’
The difference between this office and the Titanic is…. they had a band!
What do you get if you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? About
The chief designer of the Titanic had a lisp. That’s unthinkable!
On the Titanic the captain calls a meeting of his officers:
‘I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want to hear first?’
‘The good news’, replies an officer.
‘We’ll get eleven Oscars.’
Management consultant to crewmember
Consultant: To confirm, are we short of lifebelts or lifeboats?
Crewmember: Both, Sir.
Consultant: Excellent, we’ve made savings across the board.
The Titanic was about to sink. People on the ship were shouting, crying,
running and praying to God – just then a passenger had the following
conversation with the captain.
Passenger: How far is land, from here?
Captain: Two miles…
Passenger: Only two miles, then why these fools are making noise. I have the
experience of swimming even more.
Passenger: Just tell me in which direction land is two miles from here?
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”