Grif.Net

CSR sent me this story and not sure if it was about her or not. “I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows a bit to make sure my Labrador retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out…

Many long years ago the king’s baker’s assistant’s sole job was to pour the dough mixture for making sausage rolls (apparently the royal family loved sausage). Because people were identified by their professions in those days, he was just called Richard the Pourer. One day Richard ran out of some…

[Received a BUNCH more children’s jokes for this light-hearted time of festivities. BTW, I’m teaching my grandkids to give up the stale “Trick or Treat” line. Replace it with “Deal, or No Deal”. ] What’s a ghost’s favorite breakfast? Ghost toasties with booberries. What’s a ghoul’s favorite game? Hide-And-Go-Shriek! What’s…

[I have ten grandkids under 8. These are for them!] What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost? “Don’t spook until you’re spooken to.” What do little ghosts drink? Evaporated milk. What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley? I’m bone to be wild. What do baby…

Wal-Mart announced that on January 1, 2008, it will begin offering customers a new discount item, Walmart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 – $5…

Sometimes politicians, journalists and others exclaim; “It’s just a tax cut for the rich!” and it is just accepted to be fact. But what does that REALLY mean? In case you are not completely clear on this issue, I hope the following helps. Let’s put tax cuts in terms everyone…

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming…

[Was getting info for my wife’s class on natural foods and found these amazing facts about the much-maligned chocolate in a 1999 Grif.Net] If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so…

Here are some thoughts and quotes on government. Note the author and the dates on some. Doesn’t look like things have changed at all. 1) Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself ……….. Mark Twain 2) I contend that…

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day, so I called the Crisis Hotline. I was put through to a ‘call center’ outsourced in Pakistan. I explained that I was feeling suicidal. They seemed very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck…

Maxine (cartoon character) says: “Fall makes me grumpy. In that way, it reminds me of winter. And spring. And summer.” “If it got dark any earlier, we wouldn’t have to get up at all” “They hold elections in November because it’s the best time for picking out a turkey” “How…

The Perfect Pastor . . . Preaches exactly 20 minutes and follows it with an invitation in which everyone is convicted but no one is offended. Works from 7:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. and serves as church counselor as well as janitor. 37 years old with 40 years of preaching…

A woman, her husband and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman glanced over at the car next to them and noticed a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter. Looking at her husband, she said, “As soon as I lose…