Grif.Net

[Yesterday’s entire “special” paragraph was missing the most common letter in the English alphabet – E. In honor of me watching Wall-E 4 times with my grandkids . . and going crazy!!] Two robins were sitting in a tree. “I’m really hungry”, said the first one. “Me, too,” said the…

This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study…

A woman was walking home one winter eve and came upon a snake that was freezing to death. The snake begged her to take him into her home and let him warm up. She told the snake that she could not do this as he was a snake and would…

In 1875, a Danish couple converted to become Mormons and moved to Cache Valley, Utah. They set up a farm in Rural Providence, Utah, and were self-sufficient for a couple of years. By the third year, the husband decided to take a second wife, as Mormons of the time did.…

A Native American (nee Indian) returned home to the reservation after serving in the Army. While in the Army he became an accomplished electrician. He was sitting around smoking the peace pipe one evening when the Chief suggested that he might put lights and heat in the outdoor toilets. He…

While visiting his niece, an elderly man had what was apparently a stroke. She drove wildly to get him to the emergency Room. After what seemed like a very long wait, the ER doctor appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face. Sadly, he said, “I’m afraid that your uncle’s…

Happy St Patrick’s Day. While I am Scot and Welsh, I do have a drunken grandfather whose family came over from Ireland during the famine. Mom said I should be thankful I lost the Irish blood in me when I had a nosebleed at age 7. But love the humor.…

There’s a new movie out this weekend. It’s about the time that Marc Antony’s wife was a slumlord in the Mideast in World War I. It’s called “Low Rents of Octavia.” ~~ There’s another new movie out this week. It’s about a crusading attorney in the Deep South who heroically…

[For new subscribers to the Grif.Net: on Monday-Friday we send out a slightly warped blend of humor. On the weekend we send out material that is more serious of a moral, ethical, religious or political nature. This weekend I think it odd to be celebrating two birthdays. Thought I’d share…

STOCK MARKET DEFINITIONS FOR SAVVY 2009 INVESTORS CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investment banker to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET — A 6- to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets…

BUSINESS NEWS 1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people, but keeps the building standing. It’s called the stock market. 2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are?

10 Most Expensive Catastrophes in History #10 Titanic – $150 Million #9 Tanker Truck vs. Bridge – $358 Million #8 Metro Link Crash – $500 Million #7 B-2 Bomber Crash – $1.4 Billion #6 Exxon Valdez – $2.5 Billion #5 Piper Alpha Oil Rig – $3.4 Billion #4 Challenger Explosion…

Norinne – “I just joined a group of Accordion Players” Teresa – “Oh,” (kiddingly) “is it a Twelve-Step Group?” Norinne – “No, it’s a One-and-a-Two step group” Mourner at funeral – “He looks so natural” Widow – “You should have seen him two weeks ago.” Friend – “What time is…