Grif.Net

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday, and I’m tired again = today   I’m in the initial stages of my golden years – SS, CD’s, = IRA’s, AARP…   Never do anything you wouldn’t want to explain to the = paramedics   Old age comes at a very bad time…

[Note: The weekend Grif.Net inadvertently read 02/10 instead of 02/01. Can anyone say “Fat Fingers”? Also, we started a grif.net site on Facebook for any interested. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2227292338#/group.php?gid=52854105302 A number have joined and we are sending the grif.net to 50 new folks starting today – if any get it and don’t…

Like most people, I receive many emails every day on a variety of topics. The truth is that there is just not enough time in a day to read them all. However, I recently received an email about Kurt Warner that I wanted to share with you. Lots of “false”…

More true stories from Grandma [and a couple sent to me by some other grandmas reading the grif.net]

Stories from Grandma – I was in the bathroom, putting on makeup, under the watchful eyes of my young granddaughter, as I’d done many times before. After applying lipstick, I started to leave, when the little one said, ‘But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!’ I will…

Everyone is on this low-fat craze now. I heard that the Mayo Clinic just changed its name to the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic. A lady with a clipboard stopped me at the mall the other day. She said, “Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?” I said, “Alright, but…

One gal wrote me a Christmas Letter update – “I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to…

[No laughing matter – cracked a molar, had to have pieces pulled and root surgically removed and then got an infection in the gum. Tired of Lipton’s Chicken Noodle soup. Pain is not all it is cracked up to be. But brought on some drug-induced dental conversations.] My dentist is…

January 20th, 2009 Inaugural Invocation – Dr Rick Warren “Almighty God, Our Father, everything we see and everything we can’t see exists because of You alone. It all comes from You; it all belongs to You; it all exists for Your glory. History is Your story. The Scripture tells us,…

I asked my financial guru if the Bible had much to say about money. He mentioned the example of Noah who was floating his stock when everyone else was in liquidation. Then he spoke of Pharaoh’s daughter who went down to the Bank of the Nile and drew out a…

I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what? I had amnesia once — or twice. What if there were no hypothetical questions? When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail. A flashlight is a case for holding dead…

LESSON #6 – “Plurals” [apologies to Dr. Seuss] We’ll begin with a box and the plural is boxes. But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes. The one fowl is a goose but two are called geese, Yet the plural of mouse should never be meese. You may…

Jon Stewart – “It was time for the most anticipated event on Senator Obama’s itinerary: his speech in Berlin. And so, at 7pm local time, a crowd of over 200,000 gathered to listen to Barack Obama. There was dancing, there was the climbing of lampposts to gaze upon the junior…