Uncategorized

Five Boy Friends in My life by Maxine (famous cartoon senior citizen) I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I rush to see John. After that, Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here…

[My sister-in-law forwarded this and I can’t argue with the logic] As you may have heard, each of us may/will be getting a tax rebate check to stimulate the economy. *If we purchase almost anything at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. *If we purchase gasoline it will go…

Laws of Parenting **The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning. **For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty. **Toys multiply to fill any space available. **The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will…

[Bob Watson swears these are factual] “A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.” – Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance. ————————————————————————– “Aim towards the Enemy.” – Instruction printed on US Rocket…

[No clue of original source, but good food for thought] The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read straight through, and you’ll get the point. 1. Name the five wealthiest people in the…

One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and…

At New York’s Kennedy airport a bit ago, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said…

[In April we have asked some penetrating questions and they reveal much about us. Try this one and see how you do.] A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. Room #1 = full of raging fires Room #2 = full of assassins with loaded…

A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games, x-box and Nintendo. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the…

[My wife has joined me today in the ranks of “senior saints” at age 60. No, don’t worry – it’s not another week of inane jokes. She just wanted to let everyone know the PERKS that come from this age. And thanks to Joyce for the list!] 1. Kidnappers are…

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at Stanford Hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5 year old brother, who had miraculously…

A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force also covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, “Why, Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would…

Ten years ago I spent two weeks in China, then Hong Kong (my wife was attending seminars and getting an award for her alternative health ministry). What a country! I found many people there who could speak English and was more than a little embarrassed by my American education that…