[Dakota Rose sent me this chuckle] The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the then leader of Israel. “Your Holiness”, said one of his Cardinals. “Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared…
09/06/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Taxes
What do these A-Z taxes have in common? Accounts Receivable Tax Building Permit Tax CDL License Tax Cigarette Tax Corporate Income Tax Dog License Tax Federal Income Tax Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) Fishing License Tax Food License Tax Fuel Permit Tax Gasoline Tax Hunting License Tax Inheritance Tax Inventory Tax…
09/05/08 Grif.Net – Confessions
So I was having lunch with Bobby Fischer, the former world chess champion, and the table had a checkered tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass the salt. I was stunned last night when my wife told me I was too wrapped up in myself. When did I get…
09/04/08 Grif.Net – Dog Fight
Best humor from the convention. Q: What is the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom? A: Lipstick. ‘Hurricane Sarah’ will wreck far more havoc that Gutav and Hannah. ‘Twill be an interesting 61 days in the USA ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this I…
09/03/08 Grif.Net – In Danger
BJ sent me this cute chuckle: A family of skunks was trapped in a thicket, surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves that were edging ever closer. The Mother skunk calmly instructed her young: “Quickly children, let’s put our heads together!” After they obeyed, forming a circle, she continued, “Now…
09/02/08 Grif.Net – AARP Forum
LB sent me this. Obviously he reads other forums than a young guy like me (I’m only 60) might read. These are for those of us who are 70 and older, and for those under 70 who will have this to look forward to not too long from now!! QUESTIONS…
09/01/08 Labor Day Grif.Net – Laboring on Labor Day
[John sent me this story] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is usually the husband. When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else…
08/30/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Billion
The next time you hear a politician use the word “billion” in a casual manner, think about whether you want the “politicians” spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in…
08/29/08 Grif.Net – More Cow Politics
[Understanding the world’s economics, tongue-firmly-in-cheek] AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an…
08/28/08 Grif.Net – Politics for Dummies, part 1
COW POLITICS (in case you get all emotional this week or next with the spectacle in Denver or Minneapolis) DEMOCRAT You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher taxes on yourself so the government can provide cows for everyone. REPUBLICAN…
08/27/08 Grif.Net – Resignation
Pastor Bob shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate. After the service, a very distraught lady came to the pastor with tears in her eyes. “Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don’t…
08/26/08 Grif.Net – Optomist
In a recent flood in Iowa, Farmer Flack proved himself to be an optimist (even though it was hard with misty optics!!) The flood waters rose on his farm and soon he found himself sitting on the roof. The rescue team came by in a boat to get him off…
08/25/08 Grif.Net – Odd Announcements
This is a collection of actual Church Announcements, either recorded from the lectern or printed in the bulletin: “The lecture on the religious history of circumcision has been cut from tonight’s program.” “The pastor will discuss the health risks of obesity, and then the choir will sing ‘There’s a Wideness…