(We have some engineers in our church and Ecunet had a special theological
quiz for them. You may use a calculator, the Bible, the Koran, the Torah,
and the Book of Mormon)
The speed of light is c.
Show all work.
For all problems, assume a perfectly spherical Jesus of constant density D.
No praying during the exam.
1. (25 pts.) Bob and Joe are standing on a street corner. God loves each an
equal amount. Bob then accelerates to 0.9c. In Joe’s rest frame, how much
does God now love Bob?
2. (25 pts.) Let the eternal, all abiding love of the Holy Spirit be the xy
plane. Let Sue’s soul be at (0,0,5) at t = 0 sec., traveling at 5 m/s in the
direction of the positive z axis. Everything is in Cartesian coordinates
bespeaking subscription to a perfectly rational Enlightenment attitude
towards the Universe. At what time t will Sue be saved? (Hint: Assume a
point soul.)
3. (25 pts.) Assume the Rapture occurs at time t. Cornelia, a saved human
weighing 90 kg, in a state of grace, has her head in the closing jaws of an
alligator at time t. What mass of meat will remain to the alligator at time
t + 10 sec.?
4. (25 pts.) Stan is a frictionless, massless Mormon in a rest state. His
sin level for his faith is currently 11 McBeals. He eats 0.3 kg of pork, and
enjoys it very much. Assume that the Jews are right about, well, pretty much
everything. What is Stan’s sin level now?
5. Extra Credit (10 pts): 25 grams of wafers and 20 ml of cheap wine undergo
transubstantiation and become the flesh and blood of our Lord. How many
Joules of heat are released by the transformation?
Hand in exam when done, and may God have mercy on your work.
~~~~
Answers to commonly misspelled words quiz:
1. Musical instrument like a piano you squeeze is an ACCORDION
2. In the military, the rank above major but below general is LIEUTENANT
COLONEL
3. People in succeeding generations from an ancestor are the DESCENDANTS
4. Soldiers wear clothes that blend in with the surroundings that are
CAMOUFLAGE
5. Red in the face might be because you are EMBARRASSED
6. With lots of spare time and no work, you might be a man of LEISURE
7. If you have the flu and bowels are not controlled, you have DIARHEA
8. And if you feel sick to your stomach and want to vomit, you are NAUSEOUS
9. The number coming after the 11th is the TWELFTH
10. Not a divorce, but when a husband and wife don’t live together, they are
SEPARATED
11. The sea between Cuba and South America is called the CARIBBEAN
12. The state with Boston as its largest city is MASSACHUSETTES
Bonus: And Boston, with the state government, has the building called the
state CAPITOL
~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross +3 nails = 4 given