[While the bride – hey, somebody in the family needs to work – still has 3
years until retirement, I was asked recently if I were retired. No. Tired,
yes, but not retired. Just not working much. Allergic to sweat. Anyway,
here is the test.]
Q. When is a retiree’s bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Q. How many retirees to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all day.
Q. What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?
A. There is not enough time to get everything done.
Q. Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?
A. The term comes with a 10% percent discount.
Q. Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
A.. Tied shoes.
Q. Why do retirees count pennies?
A. They are the only ones who have the time.
Q. What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to
retire?
A. NUTS!
Q. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
A. They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to
store stuff there.
Q. What do retirees call a long lunch?
A. Normal
Q. What is the best way to describe retirement?
A. The never ending Coffee Break.
Q. What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
A. If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
~~~~~~
Answers from Friday –
Example 1: Where do turtles eat? Answer: In slow-food restaurants
Example 2: What part of the cake does Frosty like best? Answer: The icing
1. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste
2. Why did the police question the burrito? They wanted it to spill the
beans
3. What do you call a stolen sausage? The missing link
4. Why did the ham go to the doctor? He needed to be cured
5. Why did the fig take a prune to the movies? He couldn’t find a date
6. What is the kindest vegetable? Sweet potatoes
7. Why did the rabbit go on strike? He wanted better celery
8. What is sweet, gooey and fixes shoes? Peach cobbler
9. What is a plumber’s favorite vegetable? Leeks
10. Why can we never depend on a bowl of cereal? Too many flakes in there
Bonus: What vegetable needs cough syrup? Hoarse radish
~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given