Grif.Net

10/01/07 Grif.Net – Famous Bob Hope One-Liners

10/01/07 Grif.Net – Famous Bob Hope One-Liners

ON TURNING 70 – “You still chase women, but only downhill”.

ON TURNING 80 – “That’s the time in your life when even your birthday suit
needs pressing.”

ON TURNING 90 – “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than
the cake.”

ON TURNING 100 – “I don’t feel old. In fact I don’t feel anything until
noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER OF BOXING – “I ruined my hands in the ring.
The referee kept stepping on them.”

ON GOLF – “Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green
fees.”

ON PRESIDENTS – “I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only
six.”

ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL – “I feel very humble, but I think
I have the strength of character to fight it.”

ON HIS FAMILY’S EARLY POVERTY – “Four of us slept in the one bed. When it
got cold, mother threw on another brother.”

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS – “That’s how I learned to dance. Waiting for the
bathroom.”

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES – “I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t
for the stuff the audience threw at me.”

ON GOING TO HEAVEN – “I’ve done benefits for ALL religions. I’d hate to
blow the hereafter on a technicality.”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given