STOCK MARKET DEFINITIONS FOR SAVVY 2009 INVESTORS
CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investment banker to
mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET — A 6- to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the
wife gets no jewelry.
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.
BROKER — What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR — My life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
share.
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @
$240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who should be now locked up in
a nuthouse.
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use
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Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”