03/13/09 Grif.Net – Stock Market Definitions

03/13/09 Grif.Net – Stock Market Definitions


CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investment banker to
mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET — A 6- to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the
wife gets no jewelry.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — My life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @
$240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who should be now locked up in
a nuthouse.

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use

Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”