TRUE/FALSE QUIZ ABOUT LAS VEGAS 1 Las Vegas means “the meadows” in Spanish. 2 More that half of Nevada’s 200,000+ slot machines are located here. 3 The first neon sign appeared in Las Vegas in 1954. 4 The average annual temperature in Las Vegas is 66 degrees (it will be…

Mariah Carey – “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” Matt Lauer (NBC Today Show) – “Researchers have discovered…

Grandma K sent me this insightful idea: “Let’s put the seniors in jail and the criminals in a nursing home”. This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies, and walks. They’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc. and they’d receive money instead of…

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. “I want a tooth pulled and I don’t want Novocain because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was quite…

A cowboy from Wyoming walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an international rodeo for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the…

[Bob J forwarded this from a 6th grade boy, and I’m STILL laughing] Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, everyone else in the class laughed. My parents told me to always…

Went into a store and by the cash register they had “Our Customer Service Policy” posted. They thought I was crazy when I copied this down to add to the grif.net: We offer service three ways: Good Quick Cheap You can have any TWO of the THREE: If you want…

Linda was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Linda kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her Mom was resting, with her eyes closed. Linda marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face…

“In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed,…

I’m not saying I’m a great golfer, but yesterday after a round I commented, “I’d move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course.” “Try heaven,” my caddie advised.. “You’ve already moved most of the earth.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This…

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a huge failure because of the following: In Russia they didn’t know what…

Noah: “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head” Adam and Eve: “Strangers in Paradise” Lazarus: “The Second Time Around” Esther: “I Feel Pretty” Job: “I’ve Got a Right to Sing the Blues” Jezebel: “The Lady is a Tramp” Samson: “Hair” Salome: “I Could Have Danced All Night” Esau: “Born To Be…

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn’t find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: ‘I have circled the block 10 times. If I don’t park here,…