A couple with a mutual craving for something sweet drove to the nearest Baskin-Robbins. Having purchased ice cream cones, they returned to their car to be comfortable. As they settled back to enjoy themselves, two crows landed on the front hood and began to squawk and flutter, and to peck…

A woman went to the emergency room where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming. An older doctor stopped her and asked…

Two Minnesotans are sitting in a boat. So Ole asks Sven, “Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off ‘der boats?” To which Sven replies, “Well, you know, if they fell forwards they’d still be in ‘da boat!” There ya have it… [Tanks to Bill in Minnesota who is NOT…

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his three teenage kids have dropped out of high school to hang around with the local gang. He applies for a janitor’s job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The…

[GrammaK forwarded this. No vouching for accuracy but have fun wowing everyone with your knowledge of VALENTINE’S DAY TRIVIA] ~ 73% of people who buy flowers for Valentine’s Day are men, while only 27% are women. 15% of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day. ~ About 1 billion…

[Rebecca forwarded this tongue-in-cheek warning] Latest news reports are that five terrorist cell groups have been operating in many of our churches. They have been identified as: Bin Sleepin, Bin Arguin, Bin Fightin, Bin Complainin, and Bin Missin. Their leader, Lucifer Bin Workin, trained these groups to destroy the Body…

TOP 10 WORDS OF ADVICE 10. Never test the depth of the water with both feet 9. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie 8. Don’t bite the hand that looks dirty. 7. Consistency isn’t always good, especially if you’re consistently wrong 6. A penny saved is… not…

Celebrity Sells – I will list a product, company or even a phrase, and your job is to give a famous personality (or cartoon character) best associated with pitching the product Example: Beauty Mist Panty Hose = Joe Namath (NY Jets Quarterback) NOT SO DIFFICULT 1. His own brand of…

I walked into the post office one day and saw a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then took out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. Curiosity getting the better of…

[While there is some controversy over the author and all the advice he teaches about earthquakes, the basic information here might save a life. After the recent Haiti incident, I thought it worthwhile to share.] “My name is Doug Copp. I am the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the…

A Saints fan was driving down by the bayou when he spotted a Colts fan walking along the road wearing a blue Manning jersey. In Louisiana, can you imagine? For fun, he swerved near him, veering away just in time. Though he was certain he had missed the guy, he…

An Indianapolis fan was enjoying himself at the game at the 2010 Super Bowl until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, “Yes, that’s my wife’s seat. We never…

In order to save his marriage, a brilliant Saints fan who had married a slow-witted Colts fan agreed to undergo experimental brain surgery to lower his IQ so that he too can root for the Colts. After the procedure, as he was being wheeled into recovery, the surgeon went up…