My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just…

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to “Where do pets come from?” Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here and it is…

RECALL NOTICE: The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype unit’s code named Adam and Eve, resulting…

[HAPPY PATRIOT’S DAY! 9.11 will never be the same in my mind again] While handing a 25 cent-off coupon to the supermarket clerk at the checkout counter, a woman inadvertently missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath the moving belt under the scanner and was gone. They looked and…

10. There’s a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.  9. The pews have camper hookups.  8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few extra tapes on hand to record today’s sermon.   7. The preacher has brought a pile of lunchables…

In honor of Labor Day week, can you match the now-famous personalities with their earlier jobs? 1. Jim Carey 2. Warren Beatty 3. Steve Buscemi 4. Sean Connery 5. Walt Disney 6. Wilford Brimley 7. Morgan Freeman 8. Tim Burton 9. Evangeline Lilly 10. Mick Jagger 11. Rod Steward 13.…

Knowing that the minister was very fond of Cherry Brandy but did not like to publicize the fact that he enjoyed an occasional drink, one of the church deacons offered to give him a bottle on one condition: he must acknowledge receipt of the gift in the Church Bulletin. The…

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day? It works for me! Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day. Son: If people…

[Some quotations by men who knew something about bad government and what to do about it:] 1. “Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not.” ~Thomas Jefferson 2. Those who trade liberty for security have neither. ~John Adams 3. Free men do not ask…

If Life Were Like a Computer . . . You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel. You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it! You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings. You could turn…

Ten ways to know that you’re addicted to your computer: 10) When you begin to laugh you yell, LOL. 9) You tell your computer you love it more than you tell your spouse. 8) You think of the computer in your office as your “friend,” but you forget to send…

Who Wants to Be a Wyoming Millionaire? $100 – Capital city? a. Laramie b. Casper c. Cheyenne d. Sheridan $200 – Wyoming is called the Cowboy State. What is its other state nickname? a. Mountain State b. Land of Opportunity c. Sportsman’s Paradise d. Equality State $400 – State that…

New month so have to share some truly awful puns . . . Ever since my friend had all the digits amputated from his feet, I find him very annoying. I think I might be lack-toes intolerant. I met a man who fell into an upholstery machine. Fortunately, he’s fully…