The minister selected a fifty-cent item at a convenience store, but discovered he didn’t have any money with him. “I could invite you to hear me preach in return,” he said jokingly to the owner, “but I’m afraid I don’t have any fifty-cent sermons.” “Perhaps,” suggested the owner, “I could…
10/15/08 Grif.Net – Endangered Species
MT tells of a guy, out hunting in Alaska, who accidentally shot a polar bear. Realizing his mistake, he reported the incident to the local ranger. A week later, he received a letter in the mail telling him that he is being taken to court by the park service. Arriving…
10/14/08 Grif.Net – Too Materialistic?
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too close to the car and completely tore off the driver’s door. Fortunately, a policeman was close…
10/13/08 Grif.Net – Columbus Day
We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when others believed it was flat and that if you traveled far enough you would go over the edge. We also know that Columbus reached what we now know as America. While there are still a few who believe Columbus…
10/11/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Shoes
As Gandhi stepped aboard a train one day, one of his shoes slipped off and landed on the track. He was unable to retrieve it as the train was picking up speed. To the amazement of his companions, Gandhi calmly took off his other shoe and threw it back along…
10/10/08 Grif.Net – Oil Shortages
A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there’s a very simple answer. “Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn’t know we were getting low.” The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in…
10/09/08 Grif.Net – Financial Panic Hits Japan
Carol sent this important information: Following the problems with Lehmann Bros, AIG, and in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock and Bradford & Bingley in the UK, global financial uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo…
10/08/08 Grif.Net – Who Gets the Dog?
A pastor was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys might be hurting the dog, he went over and asked “What are you doing…
10/07/08 Grif.Net – Ineffective Affirmations
To keep up my spirits, each day I look in the mirror and say . . . I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault. Today I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. I no…
10/06/08 Grif.Net – My Wayward Computer
[Please forgive my totally depraved computer that sent an errant message (dated Friday the 13th and totally blank) yesterday. I’m writing Bill Gates to correct it, but some said it was the best grif.net ever!! Grrrrrrrr ] Prayer for My Wayward Laptop “It seems that every evening as I’m laying…
10/13/08 Grif.Net –
~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this I love”
10/04/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Stress Management
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, ‘How heavy is this glass of water?’ Answers called out ranged from 8 oz to 20 oz. The lecturer replied, ‘The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold…
10/03/08 Grif.Net – What have I Started?
[Man, the really bad plays on words are pouring in. What have I started? Mark writes:] My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she turned red in the face and began to scream, “SHOULDN’T . .. COULDN’T . . WOULDN’T .…