[Dave suggested some “bad pun on the month” candidates] I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel. A man walked into a restaurant with a slab of asphalt under his arm and said, “I’d like a drink please, and one for the road.” Two cannibals are eating…

His request approved, the photographer used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with…

Dewey goes to the local revival and listens to the preacher. After a while the preacher asks anyone with needs to be prayed over to come forward to the front at the altar. Dewey gets in line, and when it’s his turn the preacher asks: “Dewey, what do you want…

Young Chuck moved to Montana and bought a horse from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.’ Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me…

A farmer had been ‘taken’ by the fine print several times by a local car dealer.  One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was = coming over to purchase a cow.  The farmer priced his unit as = follows:   Basic cow           &nbs= p;           &nbsp= ;            =      999.95 Handling      &n=…

I was concerned about America when George W Bush was elected President. Not sure he could do the job. Then 9.11 happened and we were attacked. He stood up against terrorism and I’ve appreciated that. And the economy seemed fairly stable. America weathered the storm But in the mid-term elections…

It seems that many Grif.Net messages (sent to nearly 5000 of my closest fiends) raise some response. Laughalot (from an unknown source) used this parody of what controversy might be raised with a simple question: Q: How many GRIF.NET mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?…

Ted and Marsha were a young couple preparing for their wedding day. The bride-to-be was obviously stressed out and the sensitive future groom offered to help her with some of the arrangements. Marsha suggested that Ted handle the ordering of the wedding cake. There was a Scripture verse that was…

[Try to get a sense of the mindset of this year’s incoming freshmen. The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1990] They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. Their lifetime has always included AIDS. Bottle caps have always been…

[Forwarded by Tom, who is as old as I am. From Beloit (WI) College] “What a Difference 30 Years Make” 1977 : Long hair 2007 : Longing for hair 1977 : KEG 2007 : EKG 1977 : Acid rock 2007 : Acid reflux 1977 : Moving to California because it’s…

[Note: Concerning the weekend grif.net, there are many sources – often conflicting – of casualties in the military. Some have pointed out discrepancies with some DoD sites that would show about 9,000 Clinton era deaths v 9,000 George W deaths (with 2007-2008 stats still to be added in). Sorry for…

Military Losses, 1980 – 2007 Whatever your politics, however you lean, and however you feel about the current administration, this report should open some eyes. As tragic as the loss of any member of the US Armed Forces is, consider the following statistics: the annual fatalities of military members while…

[Ever wondered what happens when greeting card writers have a bad day?] My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~ Looking back over the years That we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder… ‘What in the…