The next time you hear a politician use the word “billion” in a casual manner, think about whether you want the “politicians” spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in…

[Understanding the world’s economics, tongue-firmly-in-cheek] AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an…

COW POLITICS (in case you get all emotional this week or next with the spectacle in Denver or Minneapolis) DEMOCRAT You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher taxes on yourself so the government can provide cows for everyone. REPUBLICAN…

Pastor Bob shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate. After the service, a very distraught lady came to the pastor with tears in her eyes. “Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don’t…

In a recent flood in Iowa, Farmer Flack proved himself to be an optimist (even though it was hard with misty optics!!) The flood waters rose on his farm and soon he found himself sitting on the roof. The rescue team came by in a boat to get him off…

This is a collection of actual Church Announcements, either recorded from the lectern or printed in the bulletin: “The lecture on the religious history of circumcision has been cut from tonight’s program.” “The pastor will discuss the health risks of obesity, and then the choir will sing ‘There’s a Wideness…

Is the Word of God important? A man in Kansas City was severely injured in an explosion. The victim’s face was badly disfigured, and he lost his eyesight as well as both hands. He was just a new Christian, and one of his greatest disappointments was that he could no…

Have the last four of my grandchildren here to visit this summer, so thought I’d share some jokes about their Grandpa’s life. Final Installment = Silly Stuff Christian: “Grandpa, why did you give up dairy farming and go to work in a candy factory?” Bob: “I just wanted to milk…

Have the last four of my grandchildren here visiting this summer, so thought I’d share some jokes about their Grandpa’s life. Next Up = Puns Prison Escapee: “Say, Bob, how did you get rid of the bloodhounds that were trailing us?” Bob: “I threw a penny in the stream back…

Have the last four of my grandchildren here visiting this summer, so thought I’d share some jokes about their Grandpa’s life. Next Up = Work Boss: “Did you mail out those circulars?” Bob: “No, I couldn’t find any round envelopes.” HR Director: “Don’t you think that this company is like…

Have the last four of my grandchildren en route to visit this summer, so thought I’d share some stories about their Grandpa’s life. Next Up = Driving Policeman: “Say, didn’t you see that red light?” Bob: “Oh, yeah, but when you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.” Policeman: “Sir, your…

Have the last four of my grandchildren en route to visit this summer, so thought I’d share some stories about their Grandpa’s life. First up = School. Teacher: “Are the questions on this test giving you trouble?” Bobby: No. “The questions are clear. It’s the answers.” Teacher: “Name a collective…

A minister passing through his church in the middle of the day, Decided to pause by the altar and see who had come to pray. Just then the back door opened, a man came down the aisle, The minister frowned as he saw the man hadn’t shaved in awhile. His…