[We all know that corduroy pillowcases make headlines, but here are some reported REAL headlines from 2007] Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try…

According to TV Guide, the top five animated cartoon characters were: 5. Cartman 4. Spongebob Squarepants 3. Angelica Pickles 2.The Grinch 1. Bugs Bunny But when they rate “duos” (cartoon characters linked together) they came up with a totally different list. Your task is to try to guess (please don’t…

A highway patrolman pulled over a trucker. “I’ve observed your driving for a number of miles and everything was safe and legal. I am pleased to tell you you’ve earned a special Safe Driver Award that our state gives to one driver each month. Congratulations! What do you plan to…

A hunter and his friend were sitting in a tall tower stand near highway 481 in Maverick Co., TX, early one cold December morning. Suddenly, a huge buck walked out over the corn they had spread in the senderos w/a tailgate feeder. Moving quickly, the hunter carefully aimed the Leupold…

One morning a little dog followed its master to school. His owner was a fourth grader at Hawthorne Elementary School. However, when the bell rang, the dog sidled inside the building and made it all the way to the child’s classroom before a teacher noticed and shoo’ed him outside, closing…

[Roger forwarded this odd collection of bumper stickers] Have The Body Of A God – Buddha. So Many Pedestrians, So Little Time. Cleverly Disguised as a Responsible Adult. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. illiterate? Write For Help. Honk If Anything Falls Off. Fight Crime: Shoot Back! (Seen Upside Down On…

[Dave said his wife forwarded this to him. Wonder why??] WOMEN’S REVENGE “Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. “So, do you always carry your…

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street,…

[Carol forwarded this interesting collection on the subject] “There are two kinds of people: Those who finish what they start and so on.” — Robert Byrne “They say there are only two kinds of people on St. Patrick’s Day: the Irish and the people who drive them home.” — Conan…

[I missed this on the wires, but Bob forwarded the news release] President Felipe Calderon of Mexico has announced that Mexico will not participate in the Beijing Summer Olympics. He stated: ‘Casi cada uno que puede funcionar, saltar, O la nadada ha salido ya del pais.’ Translation: ‘Pretty much everyone…

‘Some people!’ snorted a man standing some distance behind me in the long line at the grocery store. ‘You would think the manager would pay attention and open another line,’ said a woman. I looked to the front of the line to see what the hold up was and saw…

[Larry forwarded this irreverent summary of the Bible from little eyes] In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God…

The buzzword of this election is “CHANGE.” Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to. Years ago, there was a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the “Gunny” that they smelled bad. The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear. The “Gunny” responded, “Aye, aye,…