Best of 1990’s real headlines from our nation’s newspapers: War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Deer Kill 17,000 Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery…

These are REAL headlines from newspapers, not the kind you get from sleeping with corduroy pillow-cases. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Drunk Gets Nine Months…

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it’s the only type of cooking a ‘real’ man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a…

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 2. The Mexicans…

A couple was expecting their first baby. Water broke and her contractions were only two minutes apart. To say the mood was frantic would be an understatement. The husband dialed the hospital ER and asked for help. “Is this her first child?” the doctor queried. “No, you idiot!” the man…

[My own dear Mother has been with the Lord for nearly a quarter century, but I wish I could send some of these to her. My heart-felt love and appreciation for her only grows stronger in her memory. Yesterday we sent some “funnies”; today is from the heart.] It kills…

[Great truths about life that mothers have learned and pass down to us] Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look. For example: Begin by being thankful that wrinkles don’t hurt. One reason…

Five Boy Friends in My life by Maxine (famous cartoon senior citizen) I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I rush to see John. After that, Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here…

[My sister-in-law forwarded this and I can’t argue with the logic] As you may have heard, each of us may/will be getting a tax rebate check to stimulate the economy. *If we purchase almost anything at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. *If we purchase gasoline it will go…

Laws of Parenting **The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning. **For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty. **Toys multiply to fill any space available. **The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will…

[Bob Watson swears these are factual] “A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.” – Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance. ————————————————————————– “Aim towards the Enemy.” – Instruction printed on US Rocket…

[No clue of original source, but good food for thought] The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read straight through, and you’ll get the point. 1. Name the five wealthiest people in the…

One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and…