The beauty of my wife . . . is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of my wife . . . is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the…
02/13/07 Grif.Net – Valentines for Kids
[I have ten – count ’em – grandchildren, with the oldest at 7. Lexie turned 2 a few hours ago. So here is some Valentine Day humor for the KIDS!] Q. What did the valentine card say to the stamp? A. Stick with me and we’ll go places! Q. Do…
02/12/07 Grif.Net – Gender Definitions
DEFINITIONS IN MARRIAGE BY GENDER THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car’s hood. male: The fastener at the top of the back of a woman’s dress above the zipper. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. male: Playing football…
02/10/07 Weekend Grif.Net – Renewing My Mind
When God regenerated me, He saved my soul from hell. I await the day when He saves this flesh and makes it eternally new. Meanwhile, I am told to “renew” my mind by changing the “stinking thinking” of this world and replace it with the positive truth of the Bible.…
02/09/07 Grif.Net – More Marriage Advice
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent. My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.…
02/08/07 Grif.Net – Political Short Books
My thread on “Shortest Books” to read on a winter night brought a couple responses from an old college chum (love that word). Tom suggested POLITICAL shortest books. So my mind went reeling and here are some from myself and many others . . 1 ) Humility and How to…
02/07/07 Grif.Net – Getting Directions
Did you hear about the helicopter pilot who was lost over Seattle? The fog was so thick that all he could see was the top of a building sticking up through the clouds. He maneuvered himself close to the building, hovered beside a window and wrote on his notepad “Where…
02/06/07 Grif.Net – Cold Nights at Home
Many are complaining about the weather, and must stay indoors. Books are your friends! Here are some VERY SHORT BOOKS for easy reading 1) A Guide to Arab Democracies 2) Amelia Earhart’s Guide to the Pacific Ocean 3) Career Opportunities for History Majors 4) Cleveland – A Travel Guide 5)…
02/05/07 Grif.Net – A New Commandment
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “Honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy…
02/03/07 Weekend Grif.Net – A Parable
A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate…
GRIFNET – 2-3-2007 TEST MESSAGE
Psalm 31:1, 19-24 (NRSV) In you, O LORD, I seek refuge; do not let me ever be put to shame; in your righteousness deliver me. O how abundant is your goodness that you have laid up for those who fear you, and accomplish for those who take refuge in you,…
02/02/07 Grif.Net – Super Bowl Quiz
[A teacher in Korea sent this. He may be originally from Michigan. Just a hunch. This may be easily adapted to reflect the Cowboys, Giants, Chargers or other teams on which you lost money this post-season.] Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting in front of a TV watching…
02/01/07 Grif.Net – The Real Story
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong sermon on the devil. One said to the other, “What do you think about all this Satan stuff?” The other boy replied, “Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It’s probably just your Dad.” ~~ Dr Bob…