I considered my answer, thinking of how I could tease and fluster her, then
said, “Two.”

She thought about this for a moment and then asked, “Me, and which boy?”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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Let us praise those fathers who have striven to balance the demands of work,
marriage, and children with an honest awareness of both joy and sacrifice.

Let us praise those fathers who, lacking a good model for a father, have
worked to become a good father.

Let us praise those fathers who by their own account were not always there
for their children, but who continue to offer those children, now grown,
their love and support.

Let us pray for those fathers who have been wounded by the neglect and
hostility of their children.

Let us praise those fathers who, despite divorce, have remained in their
children’s lives.

Let us praise those fathers whose children are adopted, and whose love and
support has offered healing.

Let us praise those fathers who, as stepfathers, freely choose the
obligation of fatherhood and earned their step children’s love and respect.

Let us praise those fathers who have lost a child to death, and continue to
hold the child in their heart.

Let us praise those men who have no children, but cherish the next
generation as if they were their own.

Let us praise those men who have “fathered” us in their role as mentors and
guides.

Let us praise those men who are about to become fathers; may they openly
delight in their children.

And let us praise those fathers who have died, but live on in our memory and
whose love continues to nurture us.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips, he got a call
that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth.

He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with, so the Doctor used his
fishing scales.

The baby weighed 27 lbs 13 oz.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American slogans,
with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car was
stopped next to me.

Suddenly they yelled, “Allah Akbar! Praise Allah!” and took off before the
light changed.

Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran
directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing every occupant
of the car.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, “Man, that could
have been me!”

So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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He ended up with a pair of flip-flips

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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Asked why two people were going to be on the same coin, the official
replied, “Now, when you have a coin toss, you can simply call “Teds, or
Hales!”

**ANSWERS to Latin quiz for toes**

porcellus fori = pig at market
porcellus domi = pig at home
procellus carnivorus = pig eating meat
porcellus nonvoratus = pig not eating
porcellus plorans domun = pig crying on way home

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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Here is a quiz about your five toes. Simply match the Latin names to each
toe:

porcellus fori
porcellus domi
porcellus carnivores
porcellus nonporous
porcellus plurals demon

You’re welcome!

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the
young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his
hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp
ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All
through the night the young Marine sat there in the dimly lighted ward,
holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength.
Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.
He refused.

Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and
of the night noises of the hospital – the clanking of the oxygen tank, the
laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and
moans of the other patients. Now and then she heard him say a few gentle
words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through
the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless
hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she
had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the
Marine interrupted her, “Who was that man?” he asked.

The nurse was startled, “He was your father,” she answered.

“No, he wasn’t,” the Marine replied. “I never saw him before in my life.”

“Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”

“I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his
son, and his son just wasn’t here. When I realized that he was too sick to
tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.
I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His son was killed in Iraq
today, and my orders were to inform him of this loss. What was this
gentleman’s name? ”

The nurse with tears in her eyes answered, “Mr. William Grey.”

[Personal thought: the next time someone needs you, just be there]

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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A man went to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I
have to talk to you about it.”

The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?”

The fellow replied, “My wife is poisoning me.”

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asked, “How can that be?”

The man then lamented, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me.
What should I do?”

The Rabbi then offered, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I
can find out and I’ll let you know.”

A week later the Rabbi called the man and related, “I spoke to her on the
phone for three hours. . You want my advice?”

The man quickly said, “Yes.”

So the Rabbi replied, “Take the poison.”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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“I’m Depressed Because All My Jeans Are Blue”

“I Wouldn’t Take Her To a Dog Fight, Even If She Promised to Win”

“The Last Letters in Lonesome Is ‘Me’”

“I’d Rather Pass a Kidney Stone Than Another Night With You”

“They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can’t Stop My Face From Breaking Out”

“You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life”

“Take My Memory of You With You When You Go”

“If Love were Oil, I’d Be a Quart Low”

“Don’t Run Through The Screen Door Honey – You’ll Only Strain Yourself”

“My Sweet Tooth Says ‘I Wanna’, But My Wisdom Tooth Says ‘No’”

“They Say Only Love Can Break a Heart, But Maybe an Ax Will Do”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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