Grif.Net

02/04/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Freedom! God! and Right!

Bob — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 15:53:27 +0000

[The Grif.Net will be off line for a week for needed maintenance. Sorry.]

My great-grandfather William Rogers was both a Methodist circuit-riding
preacher and a soldier in the Second Regiment, 24th Regiment of Foot, South
Wales Borderers. He had been ministering in rural parishes in Western Iowa,
but left his wife and children (including my grandmother Bess – Elizabeth)
to rejoin his unit from the homeland in the Boer War (South Africa).

He never returned. He died in the Transvaal near the beginning of February,
1902. If you know the folk tune of this Welsh Marching Song, raise a glass
and feel free to raise your voice!

1. – Men of Harlech! in the hollow,
Do you hear like rushing billow,
Wave on wave that surging follow
Battle’s distant sound.

‘Tis the tramp of Saxon foemen,
Saxon spearmen, Saxon bowmen;
Be they knights, or hinds, or yeomen,
They shall bite the ground!

Loose the folds asunder,
Flag we conquer under!
The placid sky now bright on high
Shall launch its bolts in thunder!

Onward, ’tis the country needs us.
He is bravest, he who leads us!
Honor’s self now proudly heeds us,
Freedom! God! and Right!

2. – Rocky steep and passes narrow
Flash with spear and flight of arrow.
Who would think of death or sorrow?
Death is glory now!

Hurl the reeling horsemen over,
Let the earth dead foemen cover.
Fate of friend, of wife, of lover,
Trembles on a blow!

Strands of life are riven!
Blow for blow is given
In deadly lock or battle shock,
And mercy shrieks from heaven!

Men of Harlech! young or hoary,
Would you win a name in story?
Strike for home, for life, for glory!
Freedom! God! and Right!

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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02/03/12 Grif.Net – Impact of Oil

Bob — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:07:03 +0000

Students at our Wyoming home-school group, after talking about the oil spill
in the Gulf of Mexico, were asked to write a paragraph about the harmful
environmental effects of oil on fish.

My 11-year old wrote, “Oil must be bad. When my dad opened a can of sardines
last night, it was full of oil. All of the sardines were dead.”

Oh, my.

[Thanks, Ken. I think.]
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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02/02/12 Grif.Net – Time Saving Cleaning Tip

Bob — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 16:12:04 +0000

This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up. And add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the
water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.
(You may need to sit on the lid).

4. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds.

5. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually
enjoying this.

6. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a ‘power-wash’ and
rinse’.

7. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no
people between the bathroom and the front door.

8. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

9. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and
run outside where he will dry himself off.

10. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

The Dog

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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02/01/12 Grif.Net – February Pun-ishment

Bob — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 07:05:47 +0000

Motto for February – “Puns are bad, but Poetry is verse.”

“There are some that are wise. There are others that are otherwise.”

“Remember, a good pun is its own reword”

“One man’s fish is another man’s poisson”

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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01/31/12 Grif.Net – Evaluating my Diet (and other Resolutions)

Bob — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 07:01:46 +0000

For 2012 I decided to make several New Year’s resolutions that I COULD keep,
that would make me feel GOOD and SUCCESSFUL (rather than feel defeated about
failing to keep them as I have others years). So here are my TOP 12
RESOLUTIONS on the to-do list. Will post on Dec 31, 2012 (Lord willing) of
how I fared.

In 2012, I RESOLVE TO.

1. Gain weight, at least 50 pounds or more

2. Stop exercising. Big waste of time. Stresses my body.

3. Read less. Makes me think too much

4. Get further in debt

5. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them

6. Focus on the faults of others

7. Mope about my own faults

8. Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some really good sit-coms

9. Procrastinate more. Start everything tomorrow

10. Stay off the International Space Station

11. Not have eight children at once

12. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a rope for a belt

Wow! One month down and already I’m on the road to success. I’m never again
going to make any New Year’s resolutions I can’t keep!

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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01/30/12 Grif.Net – Diet and Exercise

Bob — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 08:13:03 +0000

[A grif.net reader sent this testimonial]

I felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape even with my diet. So I
got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But
by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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01/28/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Last Serious Thoughts on Weight Loss

Bob — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 08:10:06 +0000

[January has been fun (and a couple days of humor still to come) with lots
of stories, jokes and subtle motivation toward dieting and gaining mastery
over this lump of clay we call a body. I hope you have enjoyed the laugh
and found some encouragement along the way. Here are some final thoughts.]

Mark Twain: Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Vince Lombardi: It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get
up.

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi: Not to have control over the senses is like
sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact
with the very first rock.

Horace: Rule your mind or it will rule you.

Benjamin Franklin: You may delay, but time will not.

George Bernard Shaw: You see things; and you say “Why?” But I dream things
that never were; and I say “Why not?”

George S. Patton: You’re never beaten until you admit it.

Jim Rohn: Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.

Samuel Johnson: The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until
they are too strong to be broken.

Bob Griffin: Instead of giving myself more reasons why I can’t, I give
myself reasons why I can.

Carl Sandburg: The time for action is now. It’s never too late to do
something.

Elie Wiesel: Ultimately, the only power to which man should aspire is that
which he exercises over himself.

Will Rogers: Even if you’re on the right track you’ll get run over if you
sit there.

Marvin Phillips: The difference between try and triumph is just a little
umph!

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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01/27/12 Grif.Net – Only One I Know

Bob — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 07:05:55 +0000

Although I was only a few pounds overweight, my wife was harping on me to
diet. One evening we took a brisk walk downtown, and I surprised her by
jumping over a parking meter, leapfrog style.

Pleased with myself, I said, “How many fat men do you know who can do that?”

“One,” she retorted.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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01/26/12 Grif.Net – More Advice on Waist Management

Bob — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 07:13:07 +0000

[Gotten lots of advice in January to help diet-conscious Grif.Net readers.
Not all is GOOD advice, but lots of it nonetheless]

East a pint of ice cream each day to reduce your craving for sweets.

The handle on your Lazy-Boy Recliner qualifies as an exercise machine.

Do you call a person who has abandoned their diet a desserter?

Always stand next to a person fatter than you whenever possible.

Eat in private. If people never see you eat, they’ll believe you when you
say you have a thyroid problem.

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Lose weight by eating more! Chewing burns more calories than not chewing.

As a healthy alternative, ask the fast food worker to wrap your triple
cheeseburger, fries and fruit pie in a low-fat tortilla.

Potato chips aren’t rubbery or blubbery like fat. They’re crisp and crunchy
like lettuce, proving they are diet food.

A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in
front of a mirror. Burger King always throws me out before I can eat too
much.

[Some that 'might' just work]

An excellent way to lose weight is by skipping … snacks and dessert.

The best way to lose weight is to have your stomach stapled . . to your
upper lip.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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01/25/12 Grif.Net – Dieter’s Prayer

Bob — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 07:31:26 +0000

Lord, Grant me the strength that I may not fall
Into the clutches of cholesterol.

‘Poly-unsaturated’ I’ll never mutter,
The road to hell is paved with peanut butter.

All cake is cursed, and frosting awful,
And Satan is hiding in every waffle.

The fridge is full and I can’t stop;
Beelzebub is a lollipop.

Teach me the evils of hollandaise,
Of pasta and gobs of mayonnaise.

And crisp fried chicken from the South . .
Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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