It’s called “On And On Anon”.

It’s the one Twelve-Step meeting where you are asked to please NOT “share”
your life story.

~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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Because of this, the National Porcine Association hired a major Madison
Avenue advertising firm to boost sale of pork products. They decided on an
intensive campaign to saturate magazines television and radio with ads
urging people to eat pork patties.

The campaign was given an extra boost when Congress was convinced to
designate the second of February as the day when every family would be urged
to eat pork sausage. That day would be celebrated nationally, of course, as
Ground Hog Day.

Now you know the “rest of the story”

 ~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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Thus we’ll sadly never know for whom the Tells bowled.

 ~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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“I went down this morning to sign up my dog for welfare. At first the lady
said, ‘Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare.’

So I explained to her that my dog is unemployed, lazy, can’t speak English
and has no clue who his daddy is. So she looked in her policy book to see
what it takes to qualify.

My dog gets his first check Friday. Is this a great country or what?”

~~ 
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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“I went down this morning to sign up my dog for welfare. At first the lady
said, ‘Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare.’

So I explained to her that my dog is unemployed, lazy, can’t speak English
and has no clue who his daddy is. So she looked in her policy book to see
what it takes to qualify.

My dog gets his first check Friday. Is this a great country or what?”

~~ 
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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I was thinking of challenges to my life today . . . and realize that I have
the strength in the Lord to endure some pretty major events TODAY because of
what happened in March 1973. This month I hit social security, glad to be
alive almost 7 years after being given months to live. My children are all
in full-time ministry, my 10 grandchildren healthy. My wife’s health is
tenuous, but there is hope.

Some Grif.Net readers may not know much about me. I had finished seminary
and entered the full-time pastorate in Dec 1970 as an associate in a large
suburban church. Then two years later called to pastor a small rural
congregation in the middle of Wisconsin and made the move. For a few months,
all was a “honeymoon”. Then came March, 1973.

March 1, 1973 – Funeral for a baby. A farmer gave birth to a baby with
terminal defects. My wife was 9+ months pregnant with our first, so to say
it was “trying” for us was an understatement. I visited in the hospital,
then in the home, then over the casket of a tiny one – my first funeral in
that church.

March 3, 1973 – My wife gave birth to our son, who was healthy, but my wife
was so anemic and weak that doctors had great concern. Her parents quickly
came from Wyoming to help nurse her to health and help with the baby as
Teresa was bedridden and very weak.

March 6, 1973 – I stood for ordination. After 6 hours of questioning and
demonstrating competence for the ministry those ordained men of the council
laid hands on me. My wife was allowed out of the hospital to stand by me,
but paid dearly for it in her fragile condition.

March 14, 1973 – I turned 25 with my whole life planned out (in my mind).
Move over Billy Graham . . . But God had twists and turns I’d never have
dreamed of.

March 21, 1973 – My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer (she had surgery
later, but refused chemo/radiation and lived until 1984 when it metastasized
to her brain)

God saw me thru some trying times those three weeks in March, preparing me
for greater challenges ahead. And the song I was singing last night in the
dark, with words washing over my soul?

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

I choked up on the last few lines of that verse, but peace flooded my heart
because I had a renewed confidence of God’s sovereign, loving care. God is
still in control. Even the wind and waves know that; why don’t I? Though He
slay me, still will I trust Him.

 ~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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Of course part of my computer is shot. It was a graphic display.

So I went shopping and asked if I bought a computer today would it still be
good in five years. The sales clerk say, “Obsoletely.”

But it must be tough to work in the computer industry when the chips are
down.

At least the store’s promotion was valid – they said they were giving out
dead computer batteries free of charge.

~~ 
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

 ~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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“Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

“Lollipop” is the longest word typed with your right hand.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or
purple.

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters ‘mt’.

The sentence: ‘The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog’ uses every
letter of the alphabet.

The most common word with three double letters in a row is “bookkeeper”.

There are only four words in the English language which end in ‘dous’:
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in
order: abstemious’ and facetious.

“Typewriter” is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on
one row of the keyboard.

The average person’s left hand, NOT their right hand, does 56% of the
typing.

~~ 
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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Little Jeremiah’s father had already tucked him into bed. They had enjoyed a
bedtime story, prayers and a good-night hug and kiss. It was time to sleep.
Not five minutes later, little Jeremiah called out, “Da-a-a-ad!”

“What, son?”

“I’m thirsty. Can I have a drink of water.”

“No. You already had a drink of water. Go to sleep, son.”

Three minutes passed. Then the little boy was at it again. “Da-a-a-ad!”

“What is it?”

“I’m still thirsty. Please! Please! Please! Can I have a drink of water?”

“I already told you no. Ask me again, and I will have to spank you.”

Two minutes later, Jeremiah yelled, “Da-a-a-ad!”

“What is it now?”

“When you come in here to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?”

~~ 
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

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