What happened with the cow that wandered into a field of = marijuana? The steaks have never been so high What do you get from the breed of miniature = cows? Condensed milk Where do cows get their medicine? At the farmacy. What happens when a cow…
04/01/21 Grif.Net – The Wurst of Puns
[On the first = weekday of each month we try to lighten the mood with high-quality = humor. We usually fail. April is no = exception.] During the = lockdown I started growing toadstools in my basement to earn extra = money. I am really thankful that business is…
03/31/21 Grif.Net – Church Typos (part 2)
[More missed = steaks in the bulletin] “The = funeral for the late basketball coach was well attended, with former = players filling the pews and current players acting as = tall-bearers.” “This = Friday evening is the wedding of Brad and Melody. They are having = a…
03/30 Grif.Net – Status Updates
Scott M = boasted: “I got into an argument with my wife over which vowel was = most important. Just letting the world know I = won.” Jim S stated, = “There are two reasons why I don’t trust people. 1. I = don’t know them. 2. I know…
03/29/21 Grif.Net – Signs of the Times
*At the = drugstore: If you enter = the store without a mask, we must take your temperature. p.s. We = only have rectal thermometers. Choose wisely. = *At the County = Health Department: We are seeking = couples married for 7 years or more to educate people on…
03/27/21 Weekend Grif.Net – Let Me Get Home Before Dark
[In the big city, my parents told me, “When the street lights = come on, you come home. Immediately. Yours probably reminded you = by saying something similar, like “Be home before dark.” In = areas not served by electricity, travelers feel a pressing need to reach = their destination…
03/26/21 Grif.Net – Overheard in the Neighborhood
[Listening, at = proper social distance, to what folks around me are saying after a year = of challenges with the duals problems of covid-19 and the government = lockdown] *I thought I = might need to be tested since I had shortness of breath. Then I = remembered…
03/25/21 Grif.Net – Church Typos (part 1)
(We’ve = all seen typical “bulletin blooper” humor, but here are some = newer ones to make you smile . . or cringe.) “Couples = celebrating anniversaries are eligible for a marriage vow removal = ceremony.” “Next = Sunday we will have a visiting minister speak at a luncheon. …
03/24/21 Grif.Net – Bovine Funnies (part 3)
What do you get when a cow doesn’t give any = more milk? A milk dud What did the cow say when she saw = the farmer at 6 am and again at 6 pm? “Deja moo!” What is the worst part of milking a cow? The smell…
03/23/21 Grif.Net – Whose Side?
The = groom’s mother was so happy that her son, now 35, was finally = getting married. When she arrived at the church for the ceremony, = an usher asked her, “Whose side are you = on?” Dismayed, she = muttered, “Oh, my. I didn’t know they were fighting…
03/22/21 Grif.Net – Hobbies from the Lockdown
[In our area, = everyone has developed new hobbies over the past 12 month government = lockdown:] *The cat is = now collecting hairballs in my slippers *Our aunt = sleeps 10 hours straight and is absolutely loaded for another day of = hand-washing and looking out the…
03/20/21 Weekend Grif.Net – Fearful Journey
Every month = Mart=C3=ADn=E2=80=99s parents took a trip to see Grandma and came home = on the same train the next day. One day the = child said to his parents: =E2=80=B2=E2=80=B2I’m already grown up. Can I = go to my grandma’s alone?" After a brief = discussion,…
03/19/21 Grif.Net – ABC’s of Speaking Southern (part 4)
[Th= is week it is J-K-L at which to marvel] JAWJUH (proper noun). = Highly flammable state just north of Florida.Usage: "My brother = from Jawjah bard my pickup truck." JEE= T (interrogatory). An inquiry of if someone is hungry.Usage: = "Jeet?" "Nah .. didju?" JUI= CY (phrase).Usage:…