Mark Twain said that October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February. After reviewing my stock portfolio I found that the biggest difference between me and a pigeon is that the…

A high school class was discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to…

I’m only 60 and could still go out and beg for candy this week, but I’ve found you are TOO OLD to Trick or Treat when: 10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask…

[If you’re not “into” Halloween, then hit the garbage icon now. No sermons need to come my direction.] 1. Year of first city-wide Halloween celebration in USA 2. Name of that city (Halloween Capital of the World) 3. Pounds of pumpkins produced in USA 4. Leading pumpkin-producing state 5. What…

Just heading home from our 40th college class anniversary over the weekend. Wisconsin was more beautiful that I remember. Lots of faces I did not recognize on folks that don’t look a day over 60-something. I’ll admit if I had to hold in my stomach for another picture, I’d probably…

[Some years ago we ran a Grif.Net on lessons learned by various-aged youngsters. A school teacher forwarded these lessons she’s gleaned from adults. As I’m at the 40th anniversary of my college class this week, some of these lessons would be really important for the OLD white-haired folks I’m running…

A tough old Wyoming cowboy counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously until he died at the ripe old age of 103. He left behind .…

*The Hokey Pokey* Original Lyrics Put your left foot in, Your left foot out, Your left foot in, And shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey And turn yourself around That’s what it’s all about. *The Hokey Pokey* Shakespearean Style O proud left foot, that ventures quick within…

Visited a family for a big city church during my travel yesterday (I’m in the Midwest) and told them about our little country churches in Wyoming. Here is a list (sent from Linda from Utah) that describes the character of a country church: 1. The doors are never locked. 2.…

I am logged in, therefore I am. Hard Disk space: the final frontier! Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY? H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd! COMMAND:…

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and…

The surgeon sat beside the boy’s bed; the boy’s parents sat across from him. “Tomorrow morning,” the surgeon began, “I’ll open up your heart…” “You’ll find Jesus there,” the boy interrupted. The surgeon looked up, annoyed. “I’ll cut your heart open,” he continued, “to see how much damage has been…

At church on beautiful Sunday morning Satan appeared at the front. Everyone started screaming and running for the exit, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his…