[A woman who =
worked in hospice care for the dying wrote a list of the top 5 regrets =
people said aloud on their deathbed.]
1. "I =
wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life =
others expected of me."
=
This was the =
most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost =
over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have =
gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their =
dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, =
or not made. It is very important to try and honor at least some of your =
dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is =
too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer =
have it.
=
2. "I =
wish I didn’t work so hard."
This came from =
every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and =
their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as =
most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not =
been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so =
much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying =
your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is =
possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating =
more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new =
opportunities, ones more suited to your new =
lifestyle.
=
3. "I =
wish I’d had the courage to express my =
feelings."
Many people =
suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a =
result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they =
were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the =
bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control =
the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react =
when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it =
raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that =
or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, =
you win.
=
4. "I =
wish I had stayed in touch with my =
friends."
=
Often they =
would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their =
dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had =
become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden =
friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about =
not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone =
misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a =
busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your =
approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do =
want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not =
money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to =
get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually =
though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this =
task.
It is all =
comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that =
remains in the final weeks, love and =
relationships.
=
5. "I =
wish that I had let myself be happier."
=
This is a =
surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that =
happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. =
The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, =
as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to =
others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, =
they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. =
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way =
from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long =
before you are dying.
[Addendum by =
Me – I wondered what was missing from this list. #1 in my book =
should be "I wonder if I am prepared for eternity." The =
sad truth is that even on a death-bed, knowing they will soon face God, =
most will not seriously see their need of His grace and blithely slip =
away into eternity depending on their own religious code or works =
. . and face not a Savior, but a Judge.]
~~
Dr Bob Griffin =
[email protected] =
www.grif.net
"Jesus =
Knows Me, This I Love!"