Grif.Net

04/10/21 Weekend Grif.Net – Saying Goodbye to a Home

04/10/21 Weekend Grif.Net – Saying Goodbye to a Home

Tom=
orrow (Sunday) after our farewell at the church we founded, followed by =
ordination of the new pastor, and a huge dinner (we ARE Baptists and =
when we meet, a chicken must die), we will load a U-Haul with our =
pared-down furniture, 250 boxes, and head to our house in a retirement =
village 1128 miles away.  We leave my wife’s family house to =
a local couple to be “lovingly gutted and modernized” for =
the next generation.  Actually, it needs a TON of work, and the =
word “remodel” is far too kind a phrase for the required new =
basement floor and walls, new roof, new plumbing, new power service and =
wiring, and then all the cosmetic fixes on just about everything =
else. 

Had we wanted to sell on a conventional loan, =
contractors estimated a $60,000 minimum cost just to bring it to code =
for someone to get a loan.  So when offered (before we’d even =
decided on how we were going to sell) a lower but fair price in cash =
without any upgrading needed on our part, we thought it must truly be a =
“God-thing” (hope you understand that concept – =
He’s done a lot for us in the past 51 years together; He deserves =
credit for this one, too). And the wife used the covid-lockdown to begin =
sorting, down-sizing, boxing, and preparing for a grand moving-sale at =
rock-bottom prices. The April 12 closing here is exactly 6 months since =
we made the firm decision to retire and sell.

 

It =
IS hard to leave. My wife’s family bought and renovated this house =
in the early 1950’s. She lived in it until leaving for =
college.  They built a new house but rented out this house until =
1988 when we moved our family from Texas to Wyoming.  It has been =
“ours” for 33 years.  Lots of memories. Lots of =
history. Lots of love.

 

Man=
y people grieve over the loss of a house – both the physical place =
as well as the people and feelings associated with it – and often =
wonder what they could have done to find more meaningful closure. So =
here are suggestions for saying goodbye to a home and grieving for =
places of the past:

 

·          &nbsp=
;    
VISIT: If =
this is not your primary residence, find an opportunity to visit one =
last time. Be prepared though, there’s a chance it will seem =
altered and different than the home which =
once held lots of laughter, fun, insight, love, comfort & great =
memories of times well spent together.

 

·          &nbsp=
;    
DOCUMENT: Tak=
e photographs of different rooms and significant places. Family candid =
shots, pictures of rooms before/after they are emptied, and include =
shots of the neighborhood.

 

·          &nbsp=
;     =
CEREMONIAL GOODBYE: =
Before moving, share =
as a family =
your favorite memories from the time in the home. Then bless and release =
the home to the new owners, praying for them all the good times and =
great memories ahead.

 

·          &nbsp=
;     =
SPEND TIME:&nb=
sp;Spend purposeful and meaningful time in the home. Take time in each =
room and let the memories flow. Place your hands on the walls, doors, =
windows or special areas.

 

·          &nbsp=
;    
LEAVE YOUR MARK: =
Carve your initials in a tree, write a message in a door jam, make =
handprints in cement, or bury a time capsule in the =
backyard.

 

·          &nbsp=
;     =
CARE FOR IT:&nb=
sp;If you are selling the home and moving like we are, actively love =
that house by cleaning and caring for it so that the place would be =
infused with a blessing to the new owners.  =

 

·          &nbsp=
;    
LEAVE NOTES: After years of occupancy YOU might know =
secrets, noises, spaces, sounds and a note to give the next occupants =
the benefits of your experience will settle your mind that you have done =
all you could do.  And it might answer questions they have and not =
make them fret over minor issues.

 

·          &nbsp=
;    
REDUCE CONFLICTED FEELINGS: You have LOVED this old =
house, but now feel free to love a NEW home with little looking back or =
regrets. Today is the first day of a whole new set of memories in a new =
place.

 

·          &nbsp=
;    
TAKE SOMETHING WITH YOU: =
Unearth a plant, a stone from the front pathway, unscrew a doorknob, or =
. . .

 

~~

Dr Bob Griffin =

bob@grif.net =
www.grif.net

"Jesus =
Knows Me, This I Love!"