Grif.Net

04/09/21 Grif.Net – Church Typos (part 3)

04/09/21 Grif.Net – Church Typos (part 3)

[In spite of =
popular request, we are adding even MORE errors found in church =
bulletins.]

 

“Diana =
and Dan request your presents at their =
wedding.”

 

“Helpers =
are needed. Please sign up on the volunteer =
sheep.”

 

“After =
the first hymn we will have a time of greeting. Find someone who =
doesn’t know you and say ‘Hell’ to =
them.”

 

“If all =
the pews are full when you arrive, please wait in the aisle for help =
from one of our pushers.”

 

“All =
those with rolls in the Christmas Pageant area asked to meet 15 minutes =
early in the church kitchen.”

 

“Next =
Sunday’s message from Exodus describes the Israelites crossing the =
Red Sea and walking through the dessert.”

 

“Our =
soloist has returned from having plastic surgery, and the choir is happy =
to welcome her back with a joyful nose.”

 

“The =
outreach committee is enlisting volunteers to visit people in our =
community who are not already afflicted with another =
church.”

 

“Mrs. =
Green would like to thank all who assisted her after her fall on the ice =
last Sunday.  Doctors x-rated her pelvis and found no =
fractures.”

 

“Blessing=
of the pets will follow our normal worship.  Please keep all dogs =
on leashes in the barking lot.”

 

~~

Dr Bob Griffin

bob@grif.net www.grif.net

"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"